126 Days In The Dark
by KateDenby
Summary: For 126 days Emily was put in the darkness. There was nothing that she could do, nor see. They blindfolded her, they took away everything from her, including her dignity all for just a game of revenge. 4 months till her rescue, sounds easy? Tough? Tough. [Femlash; Rachel played by Jamie Clayton]
1. Day 92

**Summary** : _For 4 months Emily was put in the darkness. There was nothing that she could do, nor see. They blindfolded her, they took away everything from her, including her dignity all for just a game of revenge._

 _This will mostly be a long term project._

 **CHAPTER** **1 (PROLOGUE)**

Chapped lips parted as a hand travelled down to the core, eliciting a moan. "Rachel..." She moaned out for her wife as she thought about how her wife could easily make her body twitch with desire and lust in the most loving way possible, how her hips would rise and fall and rise again as Rachel would skilfully ride her out, orgasm after orgasm. She imagined Rachel's hands on her core and her breasts and the rest of the body as they gently roamed through her entire body, she imagined Rachel dragging her nails down from her neck all the way to her ass, how that would turn her on to no ends, how that would bring her so much closer to the edge.  
She screamed her wife's name as her hips rose and came back down with a thud. She rolled over from side to side to gain every last drop of pleasure. Tears rolled down her eyes and she cried like she was a baby. She let herself cry out for her wife, her daughter Hailey. She missed them to no ends and she wished nothing more than to meet them.

Darkness had engulfed Emily since the time she was brought into this place. She hated how after sometime she got used to it. The darkness became her canvas to paint her memories into to keep her going and her hopes up that her family is doing everything to find her.

She never thought the darkness would become her best friend some. She painted such an intimate picture in it that from today, darkness is her best friend.

 **Hey guys so here is a short chapter/prologue.**

 **Hope you continue reading it and show some support :)**

 **If you have any suggestions or corrections please do tell me and feel free to shoot up a PM if you'd want to.**

 **Thanks for the read & review :)**


	2. day 3

I stood there behind her. Finally she was where I wanted her to be. Shoulders spread out wide as she hung low from the ceiling. Those well toned muscles flexing as she tried hard to pull on the chains.

A smirk fell upon on my lips and my fingers twitched in the desire to touch and mark her back with my nails. Probably having her hanging there right in front of me just in her lingerie wasn't such a good idea.

I looked down to my right. The elegant wooden table held different tools of… fun.

Picking up the whip and I ran it through my fist; feeling the leather of it before raising my arm and bringing it down on her back.

She grunted and her muscles tightened, her fists clenched. I could just imagine her eyes squeezing shut and her teeth grinding against each other, trying to keep in the scream.

Just as her muscles were going to relax, I hit her again; and again; and again.

4 strips marked her back; one went around her abdomen and came back to rest till the small of her back. A thin stream of sweat runs down her spine breaking through all the scattered beads of sweat.

Our deep breathing is all that can be heard in the room as I walk in front of her. Her eyes covered with a thick blindfold which doesn't allow even a hint of light to reach her eyes.

My lips turn up as I can see the mark across her abdomen.

"What the hell do you want?" She said with so much venom in her voice as I turned around and walked out of the room closing the door behind me.

"You." I whispered before walking away.

 **I'll try to make my chapters longer from now on :)**

 **Thanks for the read, suggestions are always welcomed and review please.**


	3. Day 3 (emily)

Darkness. It was all I saw at the beginning till now. I don't know how long it has been but I do know that it hasn't been too long. I've been served a meal 2 times by now, the interval between the two seemed to be really long. Or that's what how you think it is since you're left alone in the darkness. Above that no one has to come to visit me yet. When the first meal came in I tried to ignore it till my hunger took over. Though just as I was looking around the room, feeling through the floor I heard the same sound of latch open and the plate being shuffled. "Too late Princess." Was all that I heard before I was left alone in the silence again.

So according to all of that its probably been two days since I've been here. The team is obviously looking out for me by now.

Rachel. I really hope she is doing good and being strong. I have to get out of this place no matter what and how.

I've come to learn that screaming and thrashing around isn't going to help, leaving the only option with me and that is to wait. Wait for either the team to come and rescue me or for someone to come in and get down to the business. My vote goes for the first option though.

I decided to scan the room once again. Probably I've left out some area due to the darkness and thus I got on my feet and started to move around blindly in the darkness. My hands touching every inch of the wall as it possibly could. I tried to walk systematically, from one wall to another in straight lines or as straight as they could be. For all I know I'm walking diagonally or zigzag.

My feet froze as I heard the mumbling sound of a woman's voice. "Hey!" I yelled in the hopes of grabbing her attention. "Do you even remember that you have someone down here?"

The door opened and I backed up to the wall at least having a confirmation that no one would be sneaking up on me from the back. Shuffling of feet could be heard and when they felt to be close enough to me so that I could land a hit, I launched myself at them just to have my hand being twisted behind my back and being kneed in my ribs and jaw. Soon I felt a pricking sensation on my neck before I was pushed away to sway and try and grab control over my feet.

"What the hell was…that?" I slurred and fell face first.

* * *

The soreness in my ribs and shoulder was the first thing I felt as I started to come around, then the binding and then the chill. I realized I was in nothing but my undergarments.

Just as I was going to start yelling again, the sound of the door opening could be heard.

"Beautiful. Isn't she?" A woman's voice spoke and soon the clicking of heels could be heard. I could smell the scent coming off of her. It didn't smell like something that you could get in any stores off the market but rather something that would be overly priced.

I pulled on the chains, getting closer to the woman. "Let me out of these fucking chains and then I'll show you how beautiful I really am." I said through gritted teeth and the clicking of heels started again. This time it sounded like they stopped behind me.

Sound of heels could be heard from a few feet away followed by the closing of the door. Though that didn't eliminate the presence I felt behind me. I knew someone was still here, right behind me.

I started tugging on my chains before I heard a sound followed by the burning sensation in my back. My muscles tensed and I gritted my teeth. This was just the beginning and I knew I've been through worse and I knew there's still a lot to go before I get the hell out of here.

3 more came down, leaving the two of us panting. She had walked back in front of me, she was so damn silent that it was creepy. Pushing that thought away I asked, "what the hell do you want?"

Instead of receiving an answer all I heard is the distancing sound of heels and shutting of the door.

A groan escaped from my lips before I yelled "Bitch!"

 **Hey guys, thanks for the read and reviews! So the story will pick up some pace and action from the next chapter. I hope you hold onto this.**

 **Hoping to see a few reviews and if you guys have any suggestions then please do let me know. The idea of the story is still under construction and modifiable.**

 **Thanks :)**


	4. Day 4

I walked around her, taking in every inch of her. She still hung down from the ceiling, the 4 welts from yesterday's whipping gone much to my disappointment.

I stopped in front of her and looked down her body. Her head hung low from fatigue. My fingers wanting nothing more to lift her chin up and delicately place my lips upon hers.

 _Not right now. Soon._ I thought to myself as I walked back and nodded at Kate. She walked over to Emily and going around, she reached for her bra on the back.

A low growl escaped her lips, "Do. Not." Her voice firm and threatening. The hoarseness evident from her screaming. She looked directly at Kate like she didn't have a blindfold on. She looked back at me asking if she should go ahead and snap it open.

I grin grew up on my lips as I nodded and let her go through with it. She snapped open the bra and detached the straps, letting it fall.

"What the fuck do you even want from me?!" she screamed evidently not liking the nudity it left her to.

"You'll find out very soon." Kate said. She knew all the right answers that were supposed to be given.

I motioned for Kate to go ahead. She walked over to the door and opened it. A swarm of people entering the room. 10 men and women walked in. All of high status and with expensive wines and champagne glasses held delicately in their hands.

"What the…" her face turned pale and fear was clearly evident on her features.

* * *

Its been 4 days now. No lead, nothing on Emily's case. Tomorrow her files from her previous cases will be coming in with top security clearance. A agent had disappeared and by the looks of it, it wasn't another psychopath. After much request to the board we received a green light to handle the case.

My head met the head rest on my sofa. I looked at my right, reliving all the conversations we've had, the time we've spent in this house, the work parties, the casual meet ups. I replayed how many times she has acted like a glue to the family. Memories from the time she was absent because of the cover death came up. How Reid would come in almost every night. How I once dragged Morgan from the bar back home. How I caught Garcia sobbing in the washroom stalls or how I caught her watching silly videos trying to keep herself up and peppy for the team's sake. The times I tried to talk Hotch into telling the team truth about everything. It wasn't easy keeping it away from the team, relieving for sure to know that she is somewhere safe or at least hoping for her to be safe. The constant lying to them right into their face was killing me everyday.

I closed my eyes trying to clear my thoughts, patting my thighs I got up and into the bathroom. Stripping naked, the goose bumps rose on my skin. The warm water making my muscles relax.

Closing the tap, I walked back into the room with a towel wrapped around me. After changing I sat down on the sofa and turned on the TV.

My eyes narrowed as it came to light. Tears slipped down my eyes as I couldn't believe what I saw. Emily was hanging there, her breathing ragged, imprints of different sized palms all over her, whips and a few cuts, a busted lip.

 **Hey guys! I'm sorry if the story is still moving a bit slow. I'm trying my best to write as much as I can, I promise. I've never written anything before in first person's POV so I'm still kinda getting used to it. With the secret unsub and Emily's blindfold I can't really get into the third person's POV. I'll try to make the chapters as long as I can**

 **Thanks for the read, suggestions and reviews are welcomed**


	5. Day 4 (continued)

I lay there on the cold concrete floor. The stench of my vomit burning my nostrils. The feeling of someone pounding into me still haven't left me.

My hands close to my chest, knees raised up in a foetal position.

"…And I took the path less travelled on, as I let my.. Story, be whispered when I'm gone… _when I'm gone… when I'm gone…. When I'm gone…"_

 _The crowd cheered on as Rachel left the stage a little wobbly but yet somewhat gracefully, thanking everyone. She walked over to me, smiling showing off her pearly whites and those dimples._

 _The next person going on stage and started singing 'Feels Like Home' by Edwina Hayes._

 _Her feet twisted and I grabbed her, balancing her back on her feet. "You're in your senses?" I asked as I pulled her towards the dance area. My arms going around her waist pulling her closer. Alcohol clearly present in her breath. Our lips met and left a few times before I pulled away to turn her around and back to me. Her back towards my front as I held her close to me._

 _My lips met her shoulder and her neck before reaching her ears. "Will you marry me?" I whispered. And she stood still, my arms going in my pocket to grab the velvet box. Pulling out I held it front of her, opening it I revealed the platinum band._

" _I've had it since a month now. Never had the guts to say it though." I said. She turned around to face me her eyes welled up and her mouth open._

 _My nerves started to build up as I couldn't read her. "Say something!" I whispered. Before being tackled by a sloppy but loving kiss. Her hands cupping my cheeks. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Her smile wider than any other smile. I pulled out the ring and put it on her finger, fitting it perfectly._

* * *

The lock on the door opening before I heard the cluttering of a plate on the floor. I looked up in the same direction and dragged myself till I could feel my hands on the plate. My lower half feeling too numb to be able to stand up and also not wanting to step on the plate by mistake.

A slice of bread, that's it. And a small bottle of water. I directly grabbed it and fished it through my mouth before spitting the water out. Wanting to clear out the mess of those men and women. After repeating the process once, knowing it probably will never feel clean again, I started chugging down the rest of the bottle leaving a few sips behind for later use. I blindly felt for bread and started to chew on it. Its dryness evident and itching my throat before I broke into a coughing fit.

"When will mamma be back?" Hailey's soft voice spoke out as I tucked her into bed, a sigh escaped my lips. "Soon baby. She's out there wearing her FBI superhero suit to smash the bad guys. Just like Superwoman." A smile pulling up on her face. She nodded and closed her eyes, my hand still in her arms. Kicking off my shoes I got under her quilt. She inched herself closer to me as my arm wrapped around her waist and my lips meeting her forehead.

* * *

I raised myself from off the floor and quickly dialled Reid's number.

"Reid!" I almost yelled into the phone.

"JJ? What happened?" worry etched in her voice.

"Someone… someone has broken into my house and put on a tape of Emily in my DVD player." I whispered as my hand shivered. My eyes not leaving the TV screen.

"I'll be there in a minute." His words coming out quick.

I let the phone drop and shut off the TV. My hands pulled my legs closer to my chest as I laid my head on my knees.

The door bell rang twice as Reid's voice called out. My breathing coming back under control as I let him in.

"What happened?" He asked as he went to turn on the TV before I stopped him. I shook my head, "She's not a in a state to be seen by you."

His face scrunched in confusion before the idea fell upon him. His jaw tensed and his grip tightened on the remote. "You sure?" he asked.

I nodded. "Multiple hand prints all over her." I said.

His hand fishing into his pocket. "Take out the tape, we need to take it back to the unit. I'm calling everyone in."

 **Hey guys! Sorry for a short chapter again. But I hope you like it!**

 **Thanks for the read and please feel free to let me know your thoughts and ideas if you have any for further chapters (PM if any twists ;)).**


	6. Day 10

Lying down in the dark and looking up at the moon was one of my favourite things to do. I'd prefer it much more than a night of drinks.

 _Calm breaths went in and out of my body. Chest heaving up and down, my eyes not leaving the moon even for a second until I felt the bed dip down besides me and an arm wrap around my waist. Her lips met my neck and a smile came upon my lips. I looked down at her and couldn't help but feel the deep love that I hold for her._

 _I capture her lips in a sweet kiss, deepening it as her hand went around my neck and soothingly ran through my hair. "I love you so much Rachel" I said as I pulled her into tight embrace. Her arms wrapping further around my waist as she lay on top of me._

" _I love you too." She said. Her heart beating against mine, her arms warmly holding me against her as we went off to sleep just like that._

A wave of surprise and pain ran throughout me jolting me awake. My breathing uneven as I gasped for air. My vision was again blocked by a blindfold so I wasn't in that dark room where I'm allowed to stay or rest.

Till so far I haven't had a single chance to escape. My head hung low as my arms stretched straight above my head, my off the ground.

I heard the clicking of heels and soon my senses were filled with a scent. It was good, something an expensive perfume would be able to give you. I looked up where I assumed her face would be. A smirk came upon my lips.

"Go. To. Hell." I growled. A click followed by waves and waves of electricity ran through me. My whole body tightened as I pulled on the chains hanging me above the ground. Groans and grunts escaped me. My muscles relaxed and started to twitch as soon as the electricity stopped running through them. Barely a second passed and even before I could form any words, the same pain ran through me again but for shorter period of time. And again. And again.

My breathing was completely ragged, my body sore. Muscles twitched every now and then as I struggled to steady my breath.

"Pathetic." A female voice whispered; firm and smooth.

"And what are you?" I retorted to be punched right in the face, something sharp cutting through my skin at the cheek bone. Not too deep but deep enough to draw a few drops of blood.

"Someone who paid for your mistakes." She whispered again and walked away. What the hell did she even mean by that? If all this is for revenge then I sure as hell hope that the team don't find me mutilated.

"Elaborate maybe?" I yelled back before receiving a wave of shock for long enough to send me back to unconsciousness.

 **I know this is an unacceptably short chapter but I have my exams till Tuesday. But I wanted to get something out and have been trying.**

 **The next chapter I promise to keep it long, at least 1000+ word count. Or is that short too. How about you guys give me a minimum word count, I guess you guys deserve it with all the short chapters I've given out.**

 **And guys if you're reading then please do comment and review. Because then I don't know how the story is actually going. And its not just about this story, any story that you read, wherever it is, please comment on them. They matter a lot.** **Peace.**


	7. Garcia

I threw the bag over to the couch. Another unsuccessful day of finding any kinds of leads on Emily's case. I wonder how many leads I've found through those computers back at BAU for so many strangers. But today when one of our own is missing, I can't find a god damn thing.

We're investigating and studying her past cases to find out anything that can possibly stand out. But nothing yet. Even if we found someone who would have an intention to harm her, they turned out to be clean and most of them passing their time in the prison.

My head drops in my head as I plop down on the couch. My back meets the couch and a sigh escapes my lips.

My eyes flutter open realizing that I had fallen asleep. I blink my eyes and rub them with the ball of my palm. My hands fly around on the table and sofa trying the find my glasses. Those damn computers have taken away my eyesight!

"Looking for these?" I heard a male voice say as I looked up in that direction. All I could see was a black blotch that seemed about 6 feet tall. My heart beating hard against my chest as I tried to formulate any words.

"You're quite a sleeper. Aren't you?" He chuckled and walked around the apartment. While I just sat there, stuck to the sofa, unable to move.

"Who… who are you?" my voice as weak as it can get.

"Nobody. I am nobody." He said walking over towards me as I scooted away from him.

"Are.. Are you.. The one who has taken Emily?" I stutter and bit my tongue for not keeping my voice straight.

In an instant he came down on the couch and hovered over me. A mask hiding his face but I could see those psychotic blue eyes gleaming with excitement. My vision got even blurrier as tears started to well up.

A sharp knife ran along the side of my face and my whole body stiffened.

"Shhh… you're the talker of the whole group, right? At least I seem to be right." His voice low. I could his breath on my face.

"Answer me!" He screamed and I yelped in fear. Tears running down in full stream. "Yes! Yes! Kind of. Reid talks a lot too but we sometimes we just nod our heads to what he says. Partly because we know whatever he says will be right and partly because we don't want to look dumb!" I blabber out and shut my mouth. You're not supposed to talk about other team members Garcia!

A chuckle escapes his lips and his hand covers my mouth. Instantly I start to give out muffled screams.

"Shhh! If you wish to live then you won't make another sound. Got it?" His body almost on top of me as I hastily nod my head.

A sharp sensation of pain cuts through my shoulder as I felt the knife dig deeper into it as slowly as it could go. My screams louder that before as I tried to push my other hand on his chest but to no avail. He was much stronger than me and in this condition, he would win anyway.

"Shhh! I said, no screaming." The knife twisted a little make me yelp further before nodding my head again. I sucked in a breath, the best I could and tried to remain calm.

"Good girl." Leaning forward, he whispered in my ear. Before the disgusting feeling of his lips met my forehead.

* * *

I walked out of bedroom and laid down on the sofa, not being able to catch up on some sleep.

Emily's video hasn't left my mind ever since and haunting me every night. The thought of anyone breaking in again not allowing me to sleep peacefully.

The screeching of tires coming to a halt and speeding off again outside my house heightened my senses as I jumped off the couch. My hand directly looking into the drawer of the side table. At the touch of the metal, I quickly grab it and take it off the safety mode.

Quietly I walked over to the window peeped through the blinds.

My eyes widened as I saw someone lying there, unconscious.

My hand struggling to open the door as I ran out. Even before I reached the body, I realized who it was.

"Garcia! Garcia!" I screamed as I turned her body over. My hand flew to my mouth. A deep cut on the shoulder, bruised cheek bone and a knife embedded in her abdomen. My hands directly covering the area around the knife to stop the bleeding.

A white rose held in her hand with a tag on it, reading "Much love, Em

P.S. Don't bother to find me. I am where I'm supposed to be."

A low growl escaped my lips. "Just hang in there Garcie! I'll come back!" I said and took off back towards the house. I grabbed the phone and immediately dialled 911.

 **Hey guys! Here's another quick chapter.**

 **Thanks for the reviess and love you guys!**

 **Hope you enjoyed ;)**


	8. Day 13

My back faced the wall and knees hugged my chest. I missed home, I missed seeing people, I missed seeing the sunrise and sunset, the walks with Rachel, tucking Hailey in her bed every night, the work at BAU, JJ, Reid, Morgan, Garcia, Hotch, Rossi. I miss everyone.

In this darkness by now I've gone back to so many memories by now. I've thought about so many situations. I've imagined how and when will I get free, how I'd hug Rachel and Hailey and never leave them. How I'd have to fight with the team to get me back on. The psych evaluation was something I wasn't really looking forward to. But I knew I had to go through it.

But right now, only statement goes on and on in my head.

" _Someone who paid for your mistakes."_

Being in this line of work, no matter how bad you try sometimes or the other you make collateral damages, sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes you make someone mad, turn someone good into the bad guy, make someone want revenge.

But what kind of a revenge is this? Keeping me in the dark and worse….raping me. If what she said is right, if she paid for my mistakes, did she go through all of this too? Is she making me go through what she went through? Or can she be just another psychotic bitch with me being her first victim?

The door opened and I looked up towards the sound. "I want to talk to your boss." I said sternly and got on my two feet.

A chuckle came from the other end. "Or what?" He said and his footsteps were coming closer but the sound of the door locking couldn't be heard. All I had to do was use my instincts and fight off this guy.

My fists tightened as I felt his hard grip on my arm. I pushed him where I guessed his chest would be and felt a good strong heart beat. Next I went lower, trying to push just above his belt. The ball of my palm felt the buckle of his belt and right then I adjusted my stance before sending a strong knee kick straight to his crotch.

Listening to the pitch of his groan I could tell that I hit the right spot. I grabbed his head and banged it hard against my knees and then smashed it into the wall next to me thrice before I elbowed his back causing him to fall down. I went right down towards his face and felt his face. He must be wearing some kind of glasses to be able to see me.

A excitement rushed through me as I found the glasses covering his eyes. I quickly put them up, everything turning green. A smile upon my lips as I turned around and ran straight for the door.

Going out I ran through an long tunnel. They had kept me underground, by the looks of the tunnel. Turning left I could see a pair of staircase.

My hand touched the handle and twisted it open.


	9. Day 13 part 2

The strong surge of electricity coursed through my hand jerking my body hard enough to throw me off of the staircase. My back hit a few bottom stairs eventually sliding down to the ground.

Breath was stuck in my throat as I tried to move but I couldn't even twist myself enough. I fell back on the ground trying to catch my breath. I had failed and if she knows about my escape then I don't really want to face the consequences.

The door opened and through my peripheral vision I could see three men running down the staircase with guns trained on me.

One of their foot descended down on my abdomen making me roll over. They snatched away the glass leaving me in complete darkness again. A kick to the shoulder laid me on my back.

My hands directly flew towards my throat as I felt a pair of heels block my wind pipe. "Did you really think it would be that easy to escape?"

"Just let me go. You bitch." I stuttered out of my blocking throat.

A dark humourless chuckle escaped from her and put more pressure on her foot.

"Let you go? I haven't even begun with you yet. I've been so easy on you until now." She said through gritted teeth.

"You think being raped by multiple men and women is fucking easy?" I tried to punch her in the calf with all my strength but she did even budge. From what I could feel she had stockings on. Is it just a choice or a way to hide her skin from me?

"Once. Raped once and crying so much over it. How are you going to manage what I have in store for you."

"What have I even done to you? Why are you doing this to me?" I choked out.

"Cause you've done worse to me. You deserve this." She said and let my throat go.

"No more going easy on you. Take her to the room and strip her down. Call all of them again." She barked her orders.

Multiple kicks were sent to every part of me until I rolled over onto my stomach. My eyes were forced shut again from the blindfold, tighter than the earlier times. A kick to my back and I was raised from the ground, dragged up the staircase. The door closed behind me and I was again dragged around in an unknown direction.

The shackles were tied back on my arms and with a jerk I was lifted back off of the ground. A groan escaped from my lips as my ribs and back hurt from all the jerking and pulling.

The tank top and pants were forcefully torn away from my body, leaving me bare naked. The hands left me and soon a strong spurt of water hit my body, crushing my bones.

"Enough!" her order was heard from over the sound of the force of the water.

The water stopped and the tip-tap of water could be heard as it slid down from my body to the ground beneath me.

"Spread her legs." I gulped at the order and I thrashed my legs when I felt hands trying to hold them in place. My ankles were trapped in something which kept them apart as if there was a rod in between the cuffs around my ankle.

"Beautiful." She said. "Your audience will be here soon. Hang on till then." The smirk on her lips could be heard.

"You're a fucking coward. You're scared to face me and look into my eyes." I growled.

"Oh trust me. I'm not scared. You're just not ready yet. I need to prepare you for the big reveal. You still need to completely break apart before I let you know who I am. For now we're done here." She said and left the room closing the door behind her.


	10. Day 13 part 3

**Warning: Rape and violence ahead.**

My head hung low, pangs of pain hit my body every now and then. The water had dried off and a constant shiver had replaced it.

The sound of the door opening made me lift my head up. Footsteps can be hear clearly, coming near and going around me. I could feel their eyes on me. My naked body. I squirmed thinking about what their intentions would be. What would they do to me?

"Sweet." I heard one comment and then other followed by multiple chuckles from all the directions. They were looking at me, thinking about such low things. Lust, that was the only emotion present in this room.

"She's all your again." She said and there was silence.

"As for you Emily. If you want to get down, then all you have to do is satisfy them." She said and I really wanted to just plead to her to stop this, to strike some kind of a deal. But I knew she wouldn't buy it, she would just have the satisfaction of making me beg. So I rather kept my mouth shut.

I bit hard on my tongue as I felt the first hand touch my lower back. Slowly moving up to my shoulders and then back down to grab my ass. Another hand on my abdomen, it went up to grab my breast and then down there. More hands covered me making me feel dirty, used…again.

My hair was pushed away and lips pressed onto the back of my neck. Immediately I pulled away from the lips, a low growl of annoyance could be heard before a burning smack was placed on my behind. The hand came down on the same spot again and again.

* * *

I sat in there on my elegant chair. A smirk placed upon my lips, satisfaction filling me up.

Watching her squirm under all those hands was undoubtedly the most pleasurable thing to me. Most pleasurable until the time I'll be able to be the one to touch her.

After I had enough of it, I got up from the chair and walked over to the wall with multiple kind of pain and pleasure tools.

My fingers ran across the various kinds of whips and crops. I took four whips in my hands and walked over to stand in front of her.

"Hands off her." I ordered and all of them immediately obeyed.

"Anyone would like to join me?" I asked.

"Me." The commanding voice of Alexandra said and I smiled in content. I knew she would be very much capable of teaching Emily a good lesson.

She came over and took the two of the whips from my hand and walked back right behind her. We tilted our heads to the side, smirked before looking back hungrily at our prey.

Both of our hands went to the sides in sync before we lashed the whips to the ground. The loud clack of the whips made the room go silent.

Emily evidently took a gulp and that was a signal for us to go. Our hands raised and swayed in collaborated motion, sending lashes after lashes across her body. There wasn't a second's delay between two hits. One followed by the next. The red welts crossed over and over each other, increasing in their colour, many reaching up to the shade of blue and purple.

Our hands swayed and lashes fell upon her. She squirmed and grunted, her grunts growing in intensity so did the strength in our lashes. Multiple wounds started bleeding.

A sob broke through her lips and she screamed out at us to stop and that's when we did.

The muscles in my arms relaxed and ached a tiny bit from the sudden stop in their movements.

Alexandra walked from around her and came to stand next to me. We admired our work, Emily's whole body had whiplashes, some bleeding, most on the verge of bleeding – up to the colours of blue and purple, a few still on red.

"Open her up and cuff her to the ground. I want everyone present in this room to fuck her and fuck her hard. No mercy." I ordered and sat back down.

The shackles were undone and she fell straight to the ground. Holding herself a bit off the ground from her elbows, she didn't have much energy left. Her hands were pulled back and cuffed make her lay down on the ground.

I watched them surround her. I could see her steel hard surface cracking up little by little.

* * *

I lay there, feeling dead. One after another they came and filled me up, sometimes more than one, sometimes fingers to hands to feet, sometimes foreign objects. Sharp pain could be felt frequently on my nipples probably from the clamps.

The weight of a hairy body was evident on my now fragile one. His breathing was heavy and could be easily felt on my neck and shoulders. His grunts becoming closer and closer. His sweat rubbing off on my front making me feel dirty, so dirty. A loud grunt escaped from him and he came inside me. Not everyone did, but a few did, few had the decency to at least wear a damn condom and a few bastards spilled out on me. He laid down on me like a dead weight after his last jerk and grunt.

No one replaced him so I supposed he was the last one. "Fucking slut." He whispered in my ear before pulling out of me. I lay there, waiting and anticipating as to what was going to happen next.

"Thank you for your presence. You all may leave now." Her voice commanded and shuffling of feet followed. A few made a last touches over different part of my body.

"That was good." She announced and so much anger coursed through me. "You fucking bitch!" I yelled out.

"You still dare to talk to me in a tone like that?" She said and came closer to me. She came down and her knee pressed into my ribs making me grunt from pain.

"Don't you forget that you are the one who is tied up here." She said and left my side.

"Clean her up, give her the pill and take her back to her room. I've made arrangements for her over there, take care of it." She barked out her orders.

"Take the pill, I don't want you getting pregnant on my watch. Don't act smart or else I'll have other ways to abort the kid too." This time her orders directed towards me.

The fading sound of her heels signalling her exit.

The same crushing force of water was used all over me before a pill was forcefully shoved down my mouth. The fatigue and probably the effect of the pill taking over my consciousness as I felt them opening my cuffs and dragging me around and back to my room.

The blindfold was taken off and I blinked into the darkness of my room. I turned on my back and I was completely taken over by the unconsciousness sending me back to a sleep where no monsters can hurt me.

 **Thanks for the read :)**


	11. Day 25

Thud. Thud. Thud. I banged my head in soft thuds in the wall behind me. Garcia's screams, cries and pleads and filled this room for so long that now it feels similar to the static silence.

My face was sticky from the dried off tear tracks. I felt numb and apart from the slight pinch in my chest every time she took my name. That name that was said with love and friendship was right now coming out of fear.

My throat felt sore from all the screaming and crying. My mouth ran dry and my jaw felt like it was shut close. It felt like I didn't know how to open it.

The door opened and I looked up. Unlike other times I felt no energy in me to fight them, I was angry but I had no adrenaline. I just felt numb.

"How long? How long since you've been playing the same damn thing again and again?" I demanded. My voice coming out raspy, I could feel my chapped lips pulling apart as I attempted to talk.

"A week." She said nonchalantly.

"You said you suffered because of my mistakes. Then why do this to her?" Everything was so confusing, such a big question mark.

"Entertainment." She said and my jaw and fist clenched. Entertainment? For fucking entertainment? Raw rage started to fill me up and adrenaline started to flow through my veins.

I got up from my sitting position but stopped from the chains around my wrists, ankles and neck. I was raged and pulled at the chains like a caged animal.

"Isn't she a fierce one?" She mocked and I pulled more on my chains, an animalistic growl escaped my throat.

"I just wanted to let you know that her funeral is today." She said the words that I dreaded to hear. My Penelope lying down in a casket, being lowered to the ground, everyone laying their flowers, paying their respects and I am here, in the darkness, chained like an animal, made to listen to screams and pain of someone who I love so much and hold so dearly close to my heart.

My hands fell down to my sides, my legs gave up and I sat down. Fresh tears streamed down my cheeks.

"I'm going there right now. Would you like for me to say something to her?" She said and I could listen to the sadistic pleasure she was gaining out of all this.

"Stay fucking away from her! Taking her life wasn't enough that you need to go there too?" I growled, the chains dug into my skin as I pulled at them.

"Stop me if you can." She said and a few seconds later the door closed. I was left in the darkness again. Rotting away.

My body automatically curled itself into a foetal position. My fists clenched at my chest, the pain radiating from there was beginning to be more and more unbearable. The thought that I was the reason for her death was something that would be stuck with me like a shadow for the rest of my life. She was so pure and good hearted. The best thing about her was that she never let the harshness of her life, of her job affect that smile and that heart.

I could definitely say that she was the strongest out of us all. And deep down I think all of us were scared of her, neither of us wanted to come face to face with her wrath. And neither did she gave us a chance for it.

"You'll be forever remembered, I'll always be there for you." The words came out and sobs broke out of me.

Hailey. Hailey always loved her.

 _I unlocked the door with my keys, Rachel right behind me, her arms around my waist, her lips placing sloppy kisses on my neck. She was drunk but she wouldn't agree on that. Just like every other time she was drunk. Rachel was the kind of light weight drinker who liked to believe that alcohol would have no effect on her and she acted like she could never have a hangover._

" _Come on, sober up. You know how angry Hailey gets when you come home drunk." I chuckle at how the last time she got angry she literally made Rachel stand in the corner for half an hour._

" _I am not scared of her! She's my daughter! She's the one who should be scared." She whines and pouts adorably. I peck her lips and pat her shoulder. "Probably in some other birth. She's got your temper and even then you always bow down to her. Besides I don't think you'd be able to stand in the corner without falling over. So better sober up."_

" _I hate it that you're right." She puffs and straightens her dress. I turn around and unlock the door._

" _Garcia? Hailey?" I call them out as I kick off the shoes. I hold Rachel by the waist to make sure she can walk straight. We enter the living room from where the sound of television could be heard._

 _But what I found was something that touched my heart. Hailey's head rested on Garcia's shoulder and Garcia's on Hailey. Her hand was wrapped protectively around Hailey's shoulder and pulled her closer when her sleep was disturbed by her own snoring._

" _I think she might beat your ass someday for Garcia." Rachel said as I looked at her. I kissed her lips and pulled out our Polaroid camera from the drawer near by._

 _A quick flash and the photo came out. It was probably the best picture of them two of them._

 _Hailey started to stir and sniffling and my wife sprinted for the bedroom, wobbling every now and then._

" _Tell mom I'm going to deal with her tomorrow." Hailey told me before falling back asleep on Garcia._

 _I pulled a blanket over the pair and kissed both their foreheads before heading to the bedroom._

 **Hope you guys enjoyed, don't forget to review :) they really keep me going**


	12. Day 33

Water was forced down my throat as gagged over it. My arms ached as I pulled on the chains to try and free myself. The water streamed down my naked front, the blindfold back on, the mummers of people around me, their eyes on me making me even more aware of the lack of clothing.

Their laughs and chuckles could be heard, she was basically humiliating me.

I gagged further on the water, I couldn't take in anymore, I couldn't drink anymore.

"Enough." She said and they let go of my jaw. I could feel the saliva mixed with water running down in streams. A slap on my face and I was left alone.

My hear beating hard against my chest, my tired body hung in the air, dreading for the time when she'll drop the word and they'll be all over me again, inside me, touching me.

I was tired and it was a constant struggle to not think about home. My heart aches to be in Rachel's arms, hold her close to me. Hold Hailey, tuck her into bed. Be there with my team, solving a case or going to the bar for drinks and to chill out.

I take a deep breath in and let it out not wanting to break down in front of them. Not here. Not even in the room Emily. You need to stay strong.

"So Emily. I suppose you know what's going to happen." She said in such a casual tone it made me want to rip her head off her shoulders.

A punch right into my guts and foul breath filled my senses as someone held my head close to them. "Answer her."

I clenched and unclenched my jaw. I didn't want to give in but getting beaten up wasn't exactly on my list of priorities.

"Yes. Yes I know you're going to tie me up and rape me again and again till the time your sadistic psychopath self won't be fucking satisfied." I ended up screaming out. Silence engulfed me.

"Have you forgotten the last time you were here?" She asked in a stern voice.

A grin rose on my lips at the satisfaction of hitting her ego.

"How can I forget the time I got raped? I don't think you can either right? That's why you're doing this. Torturing and humiliating me to feel some kind of power. You won't even tell me what I did to deserve all this, keeping me in the dark just because that'll make you feel like you've escaped your darkness. But let me tell you something. You're not escaping your darkness by keeping me in the dark. You won't be able to heal yourself. I'm deeply sorry for what you had been through but turning into a sadistic psychopath is not the damn answer." I ended up screaming again. My frustration and anger not under my control anymore.

"Everyone! Out!" She yelled with such a such a sharp, stern voice that even made me flinch.

After a few shuffling of feet the door was closed.

"Say sorry." She stated before walking towards me. Her expensive perfume again filled my senses.

"Fuck. You." I growled. Immediately a whip cracked my skin at the abdomen. It was much painful than the last time and I regretted not being in control. For all I know she might just kill me today. And no matter how bad the situation is, I do not want to die in here. I want to hold my family close, want to be around my team, see the daylight at least once.

"Fucking! Say! Sorry!" She yelled and whipped me with every word that she spoke. My body was already burning with heat and its just the beginning. The four welts shooting out pangs of pain and heat.

"You're going to regret this!" She said and continued whipping my whole body. From arms to chest to abdomen to legs, she whipped me everywhere.

"Okay! Sorry!" I screamed over and over again but yet she never stopped. One after another she kept laying them down on me. I had successfully managed to turn myself into her personal punching bag.

I could feel the blood streaming down my arms, abdomen, legs. My skin was cut open from various spots. All my muscles tense and on fire.

Two final whips hit my chest and abdomen before she decided to stop.

Both our breathing was heavy. I gulped as I hung my head low. I was tired and in pain.

The squeaking of wheels could be heard, like a trolley was being pushed towards me.

The chain at my ankles was pulled apart. And something cold was pushed inside of me.

"You want to know what happened to me right?" She said right into my ear.

Soon I started to feel like my insides were being pulled out and pushed back into place by that cold thing inside of me. It was painful and I just wanted to get rid of it.

I watched her squirm in pain as the little toy inside of her did its work.

I held the two pads in my hands, turning the meter up to 450 volts I walked closer to her.

"50 men, 50 men. That's how I lost my virginity." I said and punched the pads into her sides. She groaned and grunted in pain as the electricity coursed through her body. Her fists went white clutching at the chains, trying to get away from the pads.

I let go off the pads and her sides were marked with two red rectangulars. I ran my nail sharply over the right one, the sight so satisfying as she flinched in pain.

"Hurts. Doesn't it? It hurt me too." I said and punched her in the abdomen. She grunted and contracted her body.

I reached down and pulled the metallic toy in and out of her. She grunted even more as the contractions inside of her lost their rhythm and the intensity increased. She tried to close her thighs on my hand but they were pulled wide apart.

"I had this in me for 3 hours while they fucked me from behind." I said and suddenly pulled it out. A scream almost escaped her mouth as she was left gasping for air.

"Oh yeah and that too. At every god damn our to make me count them." I said and lifted the paddles back again.

"How many hours?" I asked and punched them into her abdomen.

"Tell me how many!" I said and put more pressure on them.

"Three! Fucking three hours!" She screamed out and a second later I let her go.

"Good. Now lets play a game. You like playing them don't you?" I said and picked up a revolver.

"There is one bullet in this revolver and I'm going to point it on your thigh. I'm going to spin it shut and if you survive till three then you get to keep your thigh. Or else get a shot." I said and put one bullet and spin it shut. I grinned as she flinched at the sound of it snapping shut.

"Now. You will count for me." I said and pressed the gun on her thigh.

I gulped as I felt the metal touch my thigh.

"How can I trust you that there's just one bullet in it?" I asked.

"That's up to you. Now count or get shocked. You decide." She said.

"Okay. I'll count." I said and licked my lips.

I sucked in a breath and held the chains. "One." I whispered and the click sound of an empty slot could be heard.

"Lucky woman." She said and I let out a breath. Relaxing my muscles a bit.

"Come on. We have two more to go. Come on." She said so casually.

"two." I said through gritted teeth and an empty slot again.

I sucked in a breath and whispered three. Empty slot.

"Damn! I was hoping for some loud bang and blood" She wined like a baby, fucking psychopath. But she wasn't always like this. My mistakes changed her. I made her into this.

"I'm sorry." I said in a genuine manner.

"What?" She asked surprised.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that torture. But how long are you going to keep this going? Till the time I die or you'll get bored?" I asked, tired of her games and secrets.

"As long as it pleases me. And trust me this is not even the beginning. You still have a long way to go." She said through gritted teeth.

"We're done for today. I'd suggest that you keep your mouth shut next time." She said and walked away.

I walked towards the door, revolver still in hand. I opened the door and turned around. Her head hung low and body marked with various welts, colors and blood.

"A goodbye gift." I said and pulled the trigger. The bullet lodging itself into her thigh and a gut wrenching scream escaped her which surpassed the barrier of the door as I closed it behind me, walking away from the room. I nodded at the guard and told him to patch her up.


	13. Day 40

I woke up sweat beads covered my forehead, my heart pounding in my chest. My hand directly goes over to my bedside table to grab the glass of water.

My feet slid off the bed and onto the cold wooden floor. I looked up at the moon and thought of all those nights when I yearned to look at it, to feel that calm again. I gulp and get up from the bed. Slipping into a pair of jeans and T-shirt I take my car keys and start driving off to the warehouse where she is.

My feet hit the brakes when I see a late night bar still running. Its 3.00 A.M. and its open for people like me, people who are trying to find some peace. God bless this man.

Closing the car behind me I lock it with the button on my keys as I walk into the bar.

"The most expensive and the strongest bottle of rum. She likes rum too." I chuckle as I think of her. She deserves to be in such a pit hole, no matter how much I've hurt her but it doesn't feel enough! Nothing feels enough! I need to do something else.

"Make that two!" a I say as the bartender returns with the bottle.

"That'll be 100 dollars and 55 cents." The grumpy old man said and took the money.

I ignored the drunken creeps not wanting to pull any kind of attention.

My hand rests on the steering wheel as I sit back in the car. Taking a breather before roaring the engine again.

My hand grabs for the bag of bottles on the passenger seat. Tonight is going to be interesting. I smirk and continue to look ahead as I open a bottle and take in a huge gulp.

I swerve to a stop as I reach the warehouse. The alcohol taking its effect and the old memories already beginning to cloud my mind and judgement.

Walking straight towards Emily's little room I stop right before the door. I still have a bottle and half. Probably I will share with her. Who knows.

I unlock the door and close it behind me. I sit next to the door, away from where Emily is chained. My fingers fidget with the glass which will help me to see Emily.

I look down towards the bottle in my hand. I tilt my head back and gulp down half of it in one go. The bitter liquid burns my whole body as it settles inside of me.

Sitting there in the dark I remember my time in the darkness.

 _"How do you like that huh?" He said between grunts. His dick in my ass, thrusting in and out while I'm forced to stay on my all fours with metal bondages. It hurt me everywhere. The metal bondages holding my whole body, dug into my skin, hit my bones as his thrusts jerked my whole body. I bit my lower lip to hold onto any cries of pain._

 _My eyes close and all I can see are those brown eyes, that face, that smile that bitch who sent me into this hell._

My eyes open again and I look towards where Emily is, groans escaping from her. I could hear rattling of chains and them settling down again and then a sudden jerk of chains.

"Rough night?" I snicker already knowing that she just woke up from a nightmare.

"Now what do you want?" She asks bitterly. I put the cap back on my bottle and roll it towards her.

"Rum. The one that you like." I say.

"Don't worry. Its not spiked, I was drinking from it." I reassure her when I don't hear any chain rattling.

"And I am supposed to trust you?" She asked and I just shrugged.

"Your choice. I have another one for me. I'd drink it though." I say and pull the other one out of the bag.

I smirk as I hear the rattling of chains and a few gulps. "Your welcome." I taunt.

"How's the leg?" I ask and take another sip.

"You really are a psychopath aren't you? You shoot me and then ask me how my freaking leg is? You torture me for god knows how many days! You keep me in the dark, not tell me a thing about you or why you're doing this and now you want to sit here and have a casual fucking conversation? I flinch as I hear the bottle crash a few feet away from me at the wall behind me.

"Oh I did tell you a little bit about me the last time I saw you. And I am going to let that one slide for today.

" I chuckle as I imagine just how angry and surprised she would be.

"Thanks." Her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh don't be so greedy. You'll get to know everything in time." My smirk grows as I hear her growl.

"I'll be honest with you though. Hailey didn't look nice crying like that at your friend's funeral."

"You fucking stay away from my daughter!" she screamed and pulled at the chains, trying to get closer. But she was right there, chained like an animal in front of me. I could imagine her face coated with anger and hurt so perfectly, a warmth of satisfaction spread into my abdomen at that image.

"I stood there in the crowd, right in the middle of everyone. Your friends seemed to be in a pretty bad shape though." I just sat there, ranting off, listening to the rattling of chains and the profanities that left her mouth.

"Hurts doesn't it? Death of a friend?" I ask and chug down another huge sip.

"What idea would you have about it?" She said and my head snapped in her direction.

"Her hair was jet black. Eyes big and bold, her lips curving as she saw me. I held her close to me and plunged a knife in her back. I loved her, I truly, truly loved her with all I had. But I had no choice. They left me with no other choice." I said and left. The rattling of chains to a still, my back met the door's metal as tears rolled down my cheeks.

 **hope you guys enjoyed this one. Would love to know your thoughts over this so don't forget to review :)**

 **Thanks for the reviews until now, really appreciate it. :)**


	14. Arizona

"Arizona!" Jack's gruff voice called out my name and I left my room. I walk into the living room where he and his friends sat.

"Come on. Come here." He calls me over and I walk in small steps. Last night's beating still fresh on my body.

He pulled me towards him once I was in his arm's length and turned me around to face his friends.

Tears sting my eyes as his fingers dig into my arms. I squirm and try to pull away but he just puts more pressure. "You're hurting me." I whine and they laugh.

"Nice meat, isn't she?" alcohol clearly present in his breath. He pushes me over to his two friends and they catch me.

Their arms run up and down my arms and one arm goes around my waist. I looked at them, they looked old and their sweat smelled dirty.

"We'll have her." They said and smiled showing off their dirty teeth. I didn't feel comfortable with their hands all over me like that. I pulled away and started walking backwards. But a hard kick to my back and I was back in their arms.

"I've found a new home for you. They'll take very good care of you, quite literally I suppose." He said and chuckled.

"Come on." They picked up me up and I punched them with all my might. I refused, and said no, cried to them to let me go but they didn't.

"Here's your money." The bald man handed him three bundles of hundred.

"And you! Stay quiet or you're going to pay." He said pointing his finger towards me. I just glared at him and in a swift motion I grabbed his finger and bit on it hard. He screamed and threw me down on the floor. I turned over and he brought his feet down onto my stomach twice. My body curled on its side as sobs broke out of me.

Something covered my face, it smelled funny but soon I started to fall asleep.

And I was sold at 8.

The flickering light pulled me out of trance. I looked down at the glass of whiskey and gulp it down. She won't ever get any forgiveness.

 **A tiny flashback chapter :)**

 **Day 92 will be over here soon. So just hold onto it ;) probably the next chapter or next to next chapter. And then the drama will come in. So just hold on?**

 **Don"t forget to review? Thanks :)**


	15. Day 92!

For what felt like months now, I was turned, flipped and twisted to positions that satisfied them. I was reduced from Agent Emily Prentiss to a vessel, I was dehumanized, called by names, tortured on the basis of sadistic pleasures, made to listen to my friend's last moments and kept in the darkness. My last memory of seeing the daylight was fading away. I was starved and kept thirsty for days together and made to live in a room where I occasionally was forced to puke, urinate and shit.

Even if it was a monotonous string of rape, torture and humiliation everyday, each time felt worse than the previous one. It never got better.

My body and mind craved to feel the warmth of care and love. The last substantial conversation I had was all those weeks ago when that bitch came in drunk. My mind travelled to various memories over these months, good and bad, my team, my Rachael and my Hailey.

I lay there, my mind sinking back into another memory in search of warmth, love and comfort. A memory or a kind of memory that I refused to remember in a place like this. But Rachael's face, her deep and raspy voice calling out my name was something I couldn't resist any more.

And thus, a hand travelled down to my core as other ran up my sides and onto my breasts. I pictured how Rachael's dirty blonde hair would fall to the side, her soft lips placing gentle kisses all over me. Her voice calling out my name, saying the right words, saying how much she loves me. Her hand instead of mine down at my core, teasing me and pulling me closer and closer towards the edge.

Memories of all those times she smashed me into the walls, doors, beds, desks and platforms jerking my body right now with desire.

Her tongue working tremendously, making me moan in higher pitches than usual. I could feel her warmth around me, the way she smells, the way her nails run all over my body heightening my arousal.

Her arms holding me tight as she embraced me, held me close to her as I would break apart under her.

My hips rose high in the air as her memories pushed me over the edge, screaming out her name.

I lay there, my breathing heavy and laboured. Tears escaped from my eyes as I lay there in the daze of my memory, the feeling of Rachael's presence around me fading away slowly, leaving me alone and empty.

Turning over, I curled myself into a ball and I cried. Cried not because I was in pain or raped or humiliated. Cried because I was tired, tired of everything. I felt broken – broken beyond repair.

 **So I didn't copy paste the scene from the first chapter since it was written in the third person pov. Anyway. Its Day 92. I skipped a whole lot of days and scrapped the idea I was kind of excited about but I thought it would be better for the future to scrap it out. So it might take some time for me to rearrange things.**

 **Also, the timeline is different from that of the show. So all those details will be worked out over the next chapters.**

 **I do intend to pick up pace now, stir things up and make them interesting since I reached the benchmark of the epilogue.**

 **Since I scrapped my previous ideas, it would be awesome to hear your ideas! If you want to see something, then just let me know, ya?**


	16. Day 126

I winced as the piece of glass tore through my skin. The blood seeped through the cut and down my hand. It was far deeper than my previous cuts but it was paying off. This was my own drug. I could feel the blood running down my arm and exiting the cut at my wrist.

My tear stained face broke into a fit of laughter as I felt like I was slipping away from the world. The happiness of escaping this hell was more than overwhelming. I picked up the piece of glass put it on my the other wrist. A deep breath and the same intoxicating pain rushed through my body. It pained but gave so much pleasure to just feel like I'll finally be able to escape. I started laughing again as I thought about how soon I would be getting out of here. Just one regret though, I might never know who that bitch is. But on the other hand, she is too coward to look me in the eye even when she would finally be bored of me, of this game and would want to kill me.

This is surely not the way I planned to die. I chuckled.

* * *

I watched her enjoy her attempt at escaping this place, escaping me. Pathetic.

I took a shot of whiskey and breathed in as the liquid burned and heated my insides.

Its time.

* * *

"Happy Birthday!" All of us screamed at once waking up little Hailey.

"Aunty JJ!" She said and ran over to me. I kneeled down to her height and hugged her tight.

"How are you birthday girl?" I said and pushed back her brown locks behind her ear.

Her eyes wandered around the room and looked back at me in disappointment. "Where's mommy?" Her words caused an ache in my chest as everyone fell silent.

"Mommy couldn't come. But she said she'll be sending over a gift especially for you." Rachel said as our eyes locked. I smiled at her gratefully as I had completely forgotten to prepare for her answer.

"No! I want mommy!" Hailey said and stomped her foot.

"How about this? We'll cut the chocolate cake that's waiting for you downstairs and wish for mommy? I once wished for a toy car and I got it." I lied.

"Sounds good." She nodded her head and ran outside. I looked up at Reid as he placed a hand on my shoulder. It's her birthday today and there would be no better gift than Emily showing up at the door step.

I sighed and we all followed Hailey down the stairs to the living room where the cake was surrounded by various gifts.

We sang happy birthday as she closed her eyes and made a wish. She blew the candles and with the help of Rachel, she cut the cake feeding the first bite to her mother.

"No cake for your boyfriend?" Derek asked with a frown as he picked up Hailey in his arms.

"I'm saving the bigger piece for you." She said and placed a kiss on his cheeks. He lifted her up over his shoulders stretching her arms out he ran across the house like they were an airplane.

Her laughing and being happy was something that was the most important to all of us. With Emily gone, this is the least that we could do for her.

The bell rung and Hailey climbed down from Derek immediately. "That's mommy's gift!" She said running towards the door and opening it wide.

I frowned as I saw a box from the hallway. I looked at Rachel asking if this is Emily's fake gift and she shook her head. My instincts heightened as I said, "Hailey? Step away from the box." and stepped ahead. Others also got up from their seats on couch, chairs and the floor.

I walked towards it with others behind me. I gave Hailey a smile and let her go back to Rachel.

"Rachel do you have a crowbar or something similar?" I called out.

"I'll get it." She called out and soon Derek came up with two crowbars he held one and gave one to me.

We stood at the doorstep and looked down at the wooden box. There were multiple holes through the box and I knocked over it. But no sound came from it. I knocked again and we heard a groaning sound.

Derek and I immediately looked at each other and dug the crowbar under the top of the wooden box. Three push downwards and the top came off cracking open. We rushed and pulled the top off, looking into the box.

"Emily…" I whispered as tears ran down my face immediately.

 **I know it doesn't exactly match with the summary but i had a change of plans. I hope you guys are still up for this story, review pweeshe ;)**


	17. Waking up

As consciousness came around the corner, I could see bright lights through my eyelids. I wondered if I'm dead but then I heard her voice, the voice I've been waiting to hear for so long. I could feel her tiny hands on my hand, shaking it. "Mommy?" She said and my eyes fluttered open and shut down immediately.

My hands covered my eyes as I curled myself into a ball. The sudden light caused a splitting headache as I groaned out loud.

I could hear and feel all of them hovering over me. Calling out my name. These are the voices that I had yearned to hear for so long but it didn't make sense. I must be dreaming. I'm going to open my eyes and be back in the hell hole. No. No. No. No. No. I'd rather listen to them than be in that place again. No!

They kept calling out to me. Their hands touching me, the touch and feel was familiar but it still made me squirm to have so many hands touching me.

"NO! GO AWAY!" I screamed and punched and kicked in the air but they still kept calling out my name.

An unfamiliar hand touched my arm "Calm Down" he said but this was too much for me. My instincts kicked in and I pulled him down turning us over and I opened my eyes. My vision was still blurry with various colourful spots decorating it.

I straddled him and my fingers wrapped around his neck. "Who are you? Take me out of this place!" I screamed and I felt various hands on my shoulders, pulling me away.

A face came right in front of my eyes but I didn't care. It called me out, her voice raspy, those glasses, that dirty blond hair, I couldn't see her clearly but I knew it was Rachel. My Rachel. My hands loosened and I looked around.

Familiar blurry figures surrounded me. The constant beeping sound adding onto my headache and confusion.

Everything started to spin and my hands pressed onto my head. I screamed the loudest I ever had, I threw down that stupid machine which caused the sound, I closed my eyes and kept on screaming and screaming until all I heard was silence. The only sound was of my own heartbeat, my own laboured breathing.

"Mommy?" I heard her soft voice again. My eyes snapped open and I spun around violently. I blinked my eyes rapidly, I wanted to see her, touch her, take her in my arms. But all I could see was a blurred blob about the size of a child hanging onto another blurred blob that resembled a grown up man.

I winced as something pierced my arm and the world started spinning again. I fell and felt a few arms save me. I could hear someone's heartbeat. I looked up, it was Rachel, she was here. I smiled and I sunk back into darkness.

 **Hey guys. Sorry it took me so long to update the last chapter. My exams were going on and then a lot of plots and plans were coming up, I lost touch with writing so I wrote and deleted it so many times. Hope you liked this one, let me know.**

 **Anyone waiting for Orphan Black?**


	18. Garcia II

My head snapped up when I felt sudden movement on the bed. Emily was sitting up with her eyes wide and sweat pouring down her face.

I touched her hand and she snapped hers away. Her eyes holding so much horror as she looked at me. Her breathing quickened and she pushed herself away from me and towards the wall.

"What is going on?" She asked looking terrified. She pulled her legs up to her chest and rocked herself back and forth.

"Em…" I whispered and closed moved forward.

She looked down on her left and picked up the knife that lay besides the fruits.

"You're supposed to be dead." She said and poked the knife forward making me take a step back.

"What are you saying Em? I'm right here." I said raising my arms up in surrender.

"I listened to you. I listened to…to that man. Stabbing you. For hours… no for two days straight. She made me listen to it. And how did I get here? Is… is this a dream? Hallucination?" She mumbled rapidly.

"Em… Em look at me. Look at this." I said and her eyes focused over me. I pulled down the sleeve of my top and showed her the scar.

"Give me your hand." I said and laid my hand out for whenever she was ready. She switched her gaze between my hand and my face multiple times before putting the other hand in mine; the knife still holding up in a threatening manner. I took a step ahead and pressed her hand onto the scar.

"Do you feel that? That's where he stabbed me. And do you feel this?" I dragged her arm away from the scar and onto my heart. The steady beating being felt by both of us.

"That's a beating heart, fully functional. I survived that night Em. I'm alive and you're free in all reality. That's the only thing you need to know right now." I said looking straight into her eyes. Her lip quivered and her grip loosened on the knife, eventually making it fall on the bed.

I immediately sat over the bed and pulled her into a hug. Her arms wrapped tightly around me as she broke down crying. The woman who rarely ever allowed even stress to slip through her walls was crying in my arms right now. I pulled her in closer and she tightened her arms around me.

"Shh… you're safe now. We're here for you. All of us." I said and brushed my hand through her hair. "You're safe." I repeated in her ears until she calmed down. The woman who did this to her was still out there but Emily was in no condition right now to reveal what happened to her over the past four months.

"Lets get some sleep yeah?" I said rubbing her arm.

She nodded up gripped my top tighter as she looked up. I just simply nodded and straightened ourselves, pulling the blanket over us. My arm wrapped around her protectively and rubbed her back in slow circles.

She was turned towards me, her head buried in my chest and hand fisted in my top. How were we going to fix this was beyond my imagination.

 **Hey guys! Here's another one. I hope you guys will understand that I'll have to take things a bit slow and make Emily adjust at first to be able to give you any answers about what happened. So yeah, though if it gets too slow let me know. And if you have any questions that you want to be answered in particular then let me know I'll try to pick up some speed but Emily's panic attacks might just be a regular part of the story for a while.**

 **Thanks for the read and let me know what you thought about it.**


	19. Sunrise

I climbed over the parapet wall and sat down. My hospital gown gently blowing in the cool air. A small smile played on my lips as my lungs filled with some natural fresh air. My feet hung from the edge of the building and I looked down. Everything looked so small from the 14th floor. Sunrise was still a few minutes away its light had started to show off on this side of the world. I might end up in trouble for this but I didn't care. After so long I actually felt free. First I was trapped into darkness and then I was trapped in a room with air filled with antiseptic and the same old bed with people who wouldn't let me get out of bed unless I would want to pee.

I sighed looking out at the horizon. Number of buildings surrounded me and at the horizon I could see the ocean and skin merging under a layer of fog.

Tears blurred my vision as I saw the outline of sun rising up from the ocean and the fog. My pale skin took on the colour of the sun as it slowly rose to its full length and spreading its heat all over me. I closed my eyes and felt the sound of the early birds, the faint honking of a few vehicles, I imagined the sound of the waves crashing on its shore, the smell of the ocean, the wet mud, the splashing of puddles, the rain. I imagined the summer, the feeling of the warm sun over my body; the autumn and its falling leaves; the spring and its blooming flowers. I breathed in and out in a peaceful rhythm. Today I actually felt free. I opened my eyes and let the tear escape. I silently let them fall, I didn't break into a sobbing mess but just let them fall as they let out the darkness that was felt by me for so long.

"Emily?" The raspy voice of Rachel called me out and I smiled. I turned around and held out my hand. She walked over and sat down besides me.

"We were all worried about you." She said still looking ahead. Her words didn't matter to me as much as the sound of her voice did. I kept looking at her, her skin glowing under the early sunlight, her hair gently flowing in all directions. Her scent growing more and more evident as she sat close to me.

She turned to face me and the same adoration was seen in her eyes as all that time ago.

"I missed you." She said and dug her hand into the pocket of her jacket.

"This was missing on you." She said before pulling out a red box.

I opened it and found a replica of our wedding ring. "I got it done again for you. Thought you'd like it." She said and pulled out the platinum band. It wasn't too fancy, just a simple platinum band.

"If you are ready?" she asked and I just nodded with my face covered in tears. I couldn't explain how happy I felt for the first time in so long.

My hands cupped her face and pulled her in for a kiss. My body tingled and my skin crawled at the touch of her soft lips against mine. Her taste satisfying my long held desires.

 **I don't know if its too early for a soft chapter. I tried to write a frantic chapter with Emily going crazy but then I ended up writing this.**

 **Next chapter onwards some drama will begin again. ;)**

 **Let me know your thoughts over this one and if you want to see anything in particular feel free to let me know PLEASE! Because I'm kinda wondering what to write at times :P so a bunch if ideas from you guys would be great ;)**


	20. Reid

I looked into the mirror and straightened my tie. Red with black stripes, Emily's favourite. I combed through my hair and put on my bag over my shoulder.

I ruffled my hair to make it look shorter, the way they were before Emily….

I shake my head and remove my bag and my jacket. I pull out the tie and change the shirt from sky blue to white. I put all of it back on and straighten the tie again and run my hair through my hand. I notice my palm sweating and rub them over a napkin.

I don't know why am I so nervous. I have finally got my best friend back after four months. Its been a week but I still haven't gone to meet her. I made excuses of paperwork and they just understood and left me alone with a pat on my back.

The downside of being a genius is that you don't work well with uncertainties. You would think, but FBI is all about uncertainties. But even then you expect a pattern, certain behaviours, cues. We would be given cases of serial killers, killers with specific patterns, specific victims, behavioural disorders. You have the puzzle pieces. But this was a puzzle that I had joined before but now it was completely different. I felt inexperienced even though I had experienced her fake death.

I scoffed and straightened my tie and ran my hand through my hair. This is a part of my job, I should know how to do this, I should already know the puzzle pieces and their placement by just looking at the scattered lot of them. But this was Emily, I had lost her once but at that time I was certain I wouldn't be getting her back. But this time, this time I'm scared, scared if I have lost her even when I got her back.

I straightened my tie yet again and ran my hand through my hair ruffling it further.

The door to the locker room opened and I turned around. Derek's head peeked in, "You ready pretty boy?"

I opened my mouth and closed it. I didn't know. "Do I… Do I look okay?" I asked and straightened my tie and ruffled my hair.

He sighed and stepped in closing the door.

"Okay. What is it?" he asks shoving his hands in his pockets. I sigh and sit down on the bench.

"I'm scared that when I'll look at her she might not look at me the way she used to, that I might not be able to find the Emily that…." I trail of and he sits next to me.

"You know how it is and I can't fool an Einstein with false hopes. You know when Emily returned from her staged death, she told me that one of the things she missed the most was you and your ramblings. And that hasn't changed, I'm pretty sure she would still love to hear you ramble." He said and ruffled my hair.

He got up and held out his hand. "How are you so collected? even when she returned all those years ago you were still collected and accepting." I accepted his hand and got up. He pushed me in front of the mirror and looked me once over.

"If she could swim on our side of the water, then damn she might just have ditched Rachel for you." His toothy grin made me smile.

"When I saw her again, both the times, the only thing that ran through my head Emily is back. I can get to see her everyday, deal with her sass and have that space filled up again which would always have been empty no matter what." He replied and I turned around.

"I'm ready." I settled and left the locker room without straightening my tie and ruffling my hair any further.

* * *

Emily was tracing her finger over her self inflicted scars that covered her arms and abdomen. Her finger ran over a cross that she remembered inflicting after a very particular night. The stitches holding it together.

 _Bound fists clenched and opened tight behind her back._

She gulped and traced it again with a bit of more pressure, a mild current of pain shooting through the healing would.

 _She gasped for air as the rope tightened around her neck._

She traced it with her nail, drawing out a small amount of blood and loosening the stitches.

 _The laughter was heard all around her._

Traced rather scratched in harder.

 _Something hit her face, cracked open instantly and its gooey interiors ran down her cheeks. Egg, she could smell it._

Blood flowing freely but her finger won't stop, the stitches a mess.

 _After enough entertainment rooting for humiliation, the stool was put back under her sprawling legs that desired some kind of support to let her breath._

A low growl escaped her lips as she went on scratching, trying to dig into her own flesh, trying to make the pain seem bigger and than the memory.

 _And just when she had enough air in her lungs to last her for another minute, they snatched away the stool again leaving her fighting for her life again as her body hung high above in air with a rope looped around her neck._

Her growling grew and so did the pain. She couldn't recognize the difference between the physical pain as her finger scratched away deeper into her scar and the emotional pain that the memory gave her.

She looked up when the door opened. Her vision blurry from tears took second to realize it was Reid.

She hid her hands behind her back as Reid came rushing in. She shifted away from him, from those eyes that carried pity, worry and sympathy for her.

"Go away!" she screamed right into his face and pushed him away.

Reid looked down, his tie and shirt was now stained with blood, Emily's blood. His heartbeat quickened as he looked back up to find Emily had left the bed and had retreated into a ball in the far corner of her room.

"Emily…" He said as he started to walk over towards her.

"You didn't come all this while. So why bother now?" She snapped and pushed herself even more into her corner.

Before Reid could reply, a doctor and two male nurses busted through the door.

He looked at them and then at Emily. The look that crossed her features was of pure terror and she started rocking herself back and forth.

"Let me handle this. Please." Reid said turning around towards the doctor.

"We cannot. The patient is losing blood." The doctor as and made a move to go but were and again stopped.

"Please. She needs to be on that bed by herself." The doctor glanced between the her and Reid and then sighed. "A minute. Max." He warned and Reid thanked before asking them to leave.

Reid turned around and looked at a much relaxed Emily. He walked over to her sat down next to her.

"I tried on three different shirts. Blue, cream and black before settling on this one." He said. He didn't know what he was supposed to say so he just said what came to his mind.

"I even wore your favourite tie. Derek… Derek said that if you were not so head over heels with Rachel then you might just fall for me." He scoffed and that got Emily to look up at him. Her face blank and expressionless, cheeks stained with blood.

"I… I was nervous. I had lost you for the second time and had no idea I'll get to see you again. But I was given that chance, I was given the chance to see you again but I didn't know how to. I didn't know what to say nor what to do." He said and straightened his tie and ruffled his hair.

Its Reid. Its Reid. Its Reid. She mentally kept on repeating. Trying to calm herself with the good memories, with all those times he was there for her.

"I still don't know." He shrugged and looked up to meet Emily's eyes.

"Do you know I used to have a crush on you?" he scoffed and saw Emily's face cringe. He never expected anything else.

"Yeah. That's what I expected you to do." He smiled causing a ghost of smile to form on Emily's lips.

"Bastard." Emily scoffed and pushed him away gently.

"Ouch." Reid winced and pouted.

They fell in a comfortable silence and Emily felt her muscles relax.

"Now I made a promise to the doctor, he'll be returning anytime." He said held out his hand. Her muscles tensed again at the thought of unknown men touching her.

"They're just doctors. They'll stitch up that wound and you can kick them out yourself." Reid said wondering if that was actually a good suggestion.

"Come on, I'm a gentleman. Wouldn't let down a woman I had a crush on." He said and gave her his toothy grin as her face scrunched up again.

"You ready?" He asked and offered his hand again.

"Only if you don't mention that fact again." She said and Reid nodded a deal.

"Deal." They got up and walked over to the bed. He let Emily walk halfway towards the bed while he ran over to the door.

"She's ready."

* * *

I stood there with my hands stuffed in my pocket as I looked over at Emily and the doctor. Emily's eyes transfixed on the injury she caused to herself and Reid's on Emily.

Derek had told me earlier that she has refused to talk anything about her time and hasn't let them talk about it either. She needed time, yes. But with unsub still out on the loose, I didn't know if it was a good idea. Does she even know how she was found?

 **hey guys, thanks for all the reviews and suggestions. It really gave me a few things to work on :)**

 **Hope you liked this one**


	21. Sinking in

"4 September, 2015." JJ said as soon as she entered the room.

"That's the date you were abducted." She continued and I started to shake my head. I didn't want to do this, I didn't want this, I'm safe here and that woman is in custody somewhere were the only things that mattered to me. Yes, I wanted to know who she is and her reasons but not right now. Right now I wasn't ready to permanently stamp all of those images and facts in my mind.

"No! Stop! I'm here. She's somewhere arrested-" "Arrested?" I cut her off and throw the file in front of her.

"Who told you she is arrested? We found you in a damn box! Outside your home! On your daughter's birthday!" I yell and her face turns into a mask of terror.

"So you didn't rescue me?" She asked and she started to move back on her bed, away from me. I rushed to her sides and pulled her into me. She pushed and fought but I stood there holding her.

"No Emily. There was no rescue mission. We tried to find you day and night but we couldn't." I sat down in front of her, her hands clutching my arm.

"She… she'll take me away again JJ." She said and I cupped her cheeks. "No one is taking you away. But for that we need your help too. We need to know everything about her."

"No JJ! She made a attack on Garcia! She'll hurt you guys! She'll come for me again!" She says and stands up.

"I… I have to go. I have to go away from you guys, away from everybody." She said and started to pace around in the room.

"No! You are not going anywhere. We lost you once to her but we're not losing you again. You'll stay right fucking here and we'll figure this out." I said pulling her in a hug. I walked her over to the bed and wrapped a blanket around her shivering body.

"Now, tell me all that you know about her." I said and held her hand.

"She… she did this for revenge. She was sold probably at a young age. Her virginity…. 50 men." I swallowed as I remembered her details. "She always used to wear some kind of expensive perfume and she… she had to kill someone. She was forced to do it, the victim was female and probably someone close to her." She said as through her sobs.

"What did she look like?" I asked and her grip on my hand tightened.

"I don't know." Her words confused me.

"How… did she not come in front of you? Mask?" I asked and she just shook her head.

"Darkness. I was kept in a dark room, held down by chains around my wrists, ankles and neck. Like a fucking animal. And when… she would take me upstairs for… activities… I would be blindfolded." My chest felt constricted at her words.

"All this time? All four months?" I asked and she just nodded.

"Did… did I have any clothes on? In the box?" she asked and I looked away. She was naked, all her scars and bruises on show.

"We were celebrating Hailey's birthday." I said and a tear escaped her eyes.

"I should be giving her gifts and taking her out. Not be found in a damn box naked." She said and I pulled her in.

"She missed you, she wanted you. I told her to wish for you when she blows the candles. Later the bell rang and we found a huge wooden box. Derek and I opened it." I said and paused.

"Did he… look at me?" She asked.

"He turned around immediately and Rachel and I wrapped you up in a blanket before bringing you here." I completed and she nodded.

"I want to meet Hailey. I remember it was her voice that made me focus when I first woke up over here." She said and I nodded remembering that day.

"She's more than eager to meet you. Trust me. I'll call up Derek so that he can pick her up school." I stood up but was stopped by Emily.

"Not here, not like this. I'll meet her at home, when I'll get my discharge. And could you do me a favour?" she asked and I nodded sitting back down.

"Could you get Rachel a gun? If anything happens to her…." Before Emily could lapse into her memories I held her hand and agreed.

"I'll go and see if I can talk the doctor into discharging you."

"Don't go." Her words came out even before I could stand up.

"Don't worry, I'll be back in 5 minutes. Plus we have two officers guarding the door. No one is allowed to enter who is not authorized." I said and she reluctantly nodded. I pulled her in a hug and kissed the top of her head.

"Rachel will be coming by soon." I informed her and left the room closing the door behind me. I nodded at the two officers and went on to meet the doctor.

 **Hey guys hope you like this one, let me know how it is!**


	22. Welcome home

"Mommy!" Hailey runs over to me and I drop down to my knees. I had barely entered the house before I was wrapped in a tight hug by the tiny hands.

I hold a d cradle her before kissing her over her face. She giggles and tries to push me away but I just pull her back in. Feeling her heart beating against mine was definitely the best thing that has happened since I was….returned.

Finally after 3 weeks I got my discharge and I was able to come back home.

"Come on." I picked her up and took her inside with Rachel rolling in the bags behind me.

"Surprise!" Everyone from my team screamed as I put her down. "Welcome home Emily." JJ said and pulled me in a hug. Nothing like this. I hugged them all one after another and we sat down for dinner.

It all felt so good. The whole team was here, Rachel, Hailey. My life was here and I couldn't be happier in this moment. They were all here, right in front of me, I could hear them talk, laugh, banter. Just see them whenever I'd like to, they were here and I was here.

I sighed and twirled my fork in my spaghetti. A hand suddenly crept up my thigh and I flinched making the glass of wine fall over. I looked up at them and then Rachel, I looked down and found her hand on my thigh. Looking back at them I stutter and Reid takes over thankfully.

"That's why I always tell you to keep the glass in a diagonal to your plate but you never listen. According to an estimate about 80% of the time the glass falls over when you keep the glass on the side. And now you're one of the 80%." He rants and Rachel pats my thigh.

"I'll get that." Rachel said and walked over towards the janitor closet.

I looked around as all of them were involved their conversation again. "Excuse me." I said and left towards the washroom.

I closed the door behind me and looked into the mirror. My eyes were blank, void of any emotion. I didn't know how I felt. One touch when I wasn't expecting and I flinched. It was Rachel! I knew she was sitting next to me, I shouldn't be flinching like this. I need apologize to her. I need to. I need to.

I started pacing around in the bathroom, my fingers fisting up in my hair.

A knock on the door was heard before the door creaked open and Rachel's head popped in.

"Hey you okay?" she asked and I looked at her. She came in immediately sensing something was up.

Her warm hands cupped my cheeks and I calm down at her soft touch. My hands hold hers on my cheek and I peel them away. I pass my fingers through hers and hold her hand.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to flinch." I whispered and she pulled me closer to her.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about. Its okay." She said and looked down at my lips. My heart was racing with anticipation, I licked my lips and pressed them onto hers. Our tongues met and I savoured the taste of her, I took in her scent, her taste, her touch, feel.

We finally pulled apart when our lungs started to burn. "I love you so much." I whispered as I kissed her forehead.

"I love you too." She said and pecked one last time before we exchanged nods.

We walked out, hand in hand and I sunk back into the pool of family. Where only these guys mattered, where I ignored the outside world, where I ignored her.

This; these people, they are my happy place. And I have learnt one thing straight, I cannot live without them.

 **A simple filler kinda chapter. And I just got this new idea for who should be the villain. So if I decide to go along with the new villain idea then would you like to know the previous villain and her back story? And vice versa? I'll just leave a tiny gist of the other villain idea if you want ;)**

 **Anyway! Don't forget to review! They matter a lot!**


	23. One month

" _Piss! Piss! Piss! Piss!" Their voice enchanted from all around me. I tried to hold it back for as long as I could, trying to hold onto some dignity. A burning smack of the whip on my core and I couldn't handle it anymore._

I sat straight up, my breathing laboured and my heart thumping in my head as I tried hard to calm down. Feeling wetness underneath me, I looked down and found myself sitting in a puddle of my own pee.

I quickly got up and crawled over to the far end of the room, next to the door. My knees rose to my chest and arms wrapped around them as I rocked myself back and forth. My eyes never left the bed for a long time until Rachel stirred in her sleep. I went still dreading that her hand will touch the puddle of my pee. I pushed myself further into the corner and turned around not wanting to see her. It all started to come back, the feeling of sitting in the dark corner of the room and worrying about my punishment when I would've pissed myself without her permission.

" _Now you'll piss in front of them." She growled and I was blindfolded again. They dragged me upstairs, the route to which was stored into my mind now._

" _Whip her until she pees herself."_

"Emily?" Rachel's sleepy voice called out and I pushed further into the walls.

"Em? Where are you? Why is the bed so wet?" she called out again and switched on the lights. I hid my face into my arms and started rocking myself again.

"Please don't. Please don't. Please don't." I repeated until I felt her hands grabbed my shoulders. I flinched and looked up.

"Don't be mad." My lips quivered and my vision blurred. "Please." I said and buried my head again.

"Em…" she trailed off and pulled me into her. Her arms stroked my sides "Why would I be mad at you?"

I said nothing and she just kissed the top of my head.

"I'll go and run the bath for you okay?" She said and I just stared at her as she walked over to the bathroom. The sound of the water running began and soon the smell of lavender followed. I got up from my place in the corner and waited outside the bath for her to come out.

"It's a bit warm. The way you like it." She said as she came out. I just nodded and entered the bathroom closing the door behind me.

I let my tears fall and removed the clothes letting them fall into a clumsy pile. I slowly dipped into the tub and laid my head back.

" _What's up?" Morgan asked looking confused._

" _What?" I asked, a smile spread wide over my face. Couldn't help the hormones._

" _You're way too smiley these days." He pointed out and my smile dropped immediately and I pretended to be serious with paper work._

" _Nothing much. Just feeling good." I tried to cover up and bit my lower lip._

" _Its not just that. You're…glowing. Like JJ used to when she was…." He trailed off and his eyes widened followed by mine at his realization._

" _A week." I confirmed and he pulled me into a hug._

" _Me too!" Garcia's voice chimed from the door and she rushed towards us._

" _What's the hug about?" she asked and I looked down feeling my cheeks grow red._

" _Oh my god. How did I not pick up! The morning sickness, the glow!" She started squealing and before she could contain her excitement the team entered the conference room and she took full pride in being the announcer._

" _Its just a week." I confirmed before being smothered and spoilt by their hugs, kisses and love._

A tear slipped down, I craved to be that person again. But with her still out there it was worse than when I was with her. Over here every extra day that I spent with my family just made me paranoid as to when she will come back and take it all away from me. While back there I had lost hope of seeing them ever again. Why would she just let me go like this?

A knock on the door put a halt on the train of thoughts and sped up my heart bit.

"Can I come in?" Rachel's raspy voice came through the door.

I looked down and saw the foam still covered the water and thus my body.

"Y-Yes." I bit my tongue for stammering and a second later the knob turned. Rachel's head popped in and her smile relaxed me.

"Thought if you'd want me to do your hair." She said and I bit my lip. I wasn't yet comfortable being naked around her but I hated to decline her. She's my wife after all.

"I've changed the sheets. Will wait for you outside then." She announced and started leaving. "Wait." Her head came through again before she came in completely but stood next to the door.

"I'd like that… the hair… you.." I trailed off looking back down.

Through my peripheral vision I saw her coming towards me and took a seat behind me on the tub. The hand shower turned on and the water ran through my hair. She gently pushed my head back and onto the edge of the tub. Her face filled my vision and the feeling of her hand massaging through my scalp took over me. I closed my eyes and let myself go for once. My shoulders and body started to relax and all the thoughts, worried and anxiety left me.

She hummed her favourite tune and I felt the foam cover my head. The feeling was way too overwhelming. Being cared for after so long was something I didn't know would be so difficult to handle. It had been a month since I was returned but this was the first time I felt being cared for. Not that they didn't care or she didn't care. But they were cautious about everything that I did. If I took too long to bath, Rachel would come and check up. If I locked myself in a room, Rachel would come in or she would send Hailey. When with team, if I would drift away from conversation and into my own mind, someone would pull me back out and look at me with concern.

The concern in all of their eyes was what I hated. I used to be independent, I was able to compartmentalize, I was good at handling my emotions and not break down like this. I felt weak and pathetic when they looked at me with concern.

But right now when I opened my eyes, Rachel just smiled back at me the way she used to do. There wasn't the usual concern in her eyes. Rather they looked back at me with amusement as to why was I staring at her.

I raised my hand out of the water and pulled her face closer to mine. I connected my lips with hers. They moved in sync together as they have for all these years now. She lowered herself and came on knees next to the tub. Her hands reached behind my neck and held me there. The kiss wasn't deep, just brushing of lips and yet it held so much emotions and passion. I pulled away and looked into her green eyes now dark with lust. I gulped not knowing if I could go ahead.

She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. "Maybe someday later." I sighed thanking her silently.

She got up and left the bathroom before giving me one last glance. I got out of the tub, towel dried myself and wore another pair of sweats.

I found her lying on the bed, deep in her thoughts. I decided not to bother her and went ahead to tuck myself next to her.

She scooted closer to me, our hands held each other's

"Em?"

"hmm?"

"What did she do to you?" her question caught me off guard and before I could react, both our phones chimed at the same time.

We went for them mostly in curiosity.

"One month gift." The email said and I froze.

 **Hey guys. Sorry it ttook so long to update. I'm srill working on how to catch the bad guys at the end so i might go a bit slow. If any complains for it then let me know :)**

 **Not really sure about how this chapter is, but wanted to put out some thing**

 **Any ideas, reviews, suggestions let me know ;)**


	24. Some scars for gift

The video of a curled up body rocking itself was captured in black and green. My fingers curled to my sides, wanting nothing more than repeat the activities I had been doing in the video. I was mumbling something incoherent before slicing a cut on my forearm, deep enough for the blood to easily seep through.

My fingers immediately started grazing the cut on my left forearm. Watching this was way worse than living through it. I looked pathetic, I felt disgusted with myself for being so fucking weak, for trying to cut myself again and again and still crave for it in this weak moment. Though right now I craved it to punish myself, I craved to cause damage way worse than this and god forbid I put my hands on a blade I don't know what I'd do. So instead I just snatched the phone from Rachel's hand and threw it hard against the wall with all the rage that had built up inside me.

Rachel flinched next to me as the phone hit the wall and then the ground. I didn't have the guts to look into her eyes. I knew what I would find, the same damn fucking concern, the questions, the care, the worry. I didn't want any of it so I got off the bed and stormed off into the bathroom ignoring Rachel as she called me out repeatedly. I banged the door shut and a second later the door shook with repeated thuds from Rachel mixed with her pleads for me to open the door.

I let out a scream and punched the wall. The incoherent mumblings forming words in my head as the memories of that day started to come back. I was cursing, cursing everyone, everyone from the team for not rescuing me, for not getting me out, for letting me stay there and suffer through all that torture.

My fist landed hard on the wall again ignoring everything that Rachel was saying. I didn't care what she was saying, I knew what I cared about. I fumbled around in the shelf throwing everything out until my fingers curled around the razor. I hit it hard against the sink and saw as it exploded into pieces. The three blades following out onto the floor. I sank down to the floor and grabbed the sharp blade. My fingers tightened around it, the sharp edge pricking and piercing my skin. That familiar sharp pinch of nerves so loud and evident on my senses. A humourless laugh escaped my lips as the pain started to subside.

I raised my arm and found a clean spot to decorate. I clenched my fist hard and saw the main vein start to appear in blue. A smirk spread across my lips as I saw the vein run down from inside of my elbow to wrist. I placed the blade right on its starting point and with one push it sunk halfway into my flesh. The pain taking over my senses and ruling out the outside sounds, the banging of the door, the screams, everything.

An animalistic scream escaped my lips as I dragged it across my arm. The pain turning my insides, causing a loud ringing in my head as my whole body started to envelope in a deep gut wrenching pain. Everything else, the past, the present, the future, all the painful memories from the day one of my existence started to leave me and I was starting to feel more and more like an empty person. A person who's existence did not have a meaning anymore, no one needed this fucking disgusting person anymore.

My vision was blurry, my head was light from pain and the blood that was pouring out freely like someone had let go of a tap.

It wasn't until a hand grabbed mine that I realized someone had entered the bathroom. I looked up to see that look of concern and worry in her eyes. She tried to pull my hand out but I just kept it in place. The friction cutting it up further, causing pain with its rough motions.

I looked down and started to cut through my flesh again and then Rachel's palm hit my cheek so hard that it broke through the static ringing and caused a numbness to flow through. My body hit the floor with force and the blade left my hand, falling out.

She quickly scooped me up bridal style and I was passed into strong muscular arms. Derek. I recognized as I looked up. He was mumbling something related to be me being okay.

My body and mind was finally put to some rest as my eyes shut halfway out the house.

 **Hope this was good and well written with the emotions appropriately showing off.**

 **And I don't really proof read my chapters so if there are any mistakes then please let me know :P I read it only after I have uploaded it.**

 **Thanks for reading and review/comment please ;)**


	25. Revelations

A smirk fell upon my lips as I saw her lying on the bed unconscious. I almost felt sorry for her last night but that bitch deserved it. She deserves every ounce of pain that she has received and will receive. She deserves to live and die in pain and in fear. To die not via a suicide attempt or accident or murder. But to die naturally, complete the course of her life. Live her whole life in fear of when will she be thrown into the darkness again or which of her friend or family would be the next target. There wouldn't be a day that would pass by where she'll be completely happy and even if it does, I'll be right around the corner to ruin it for her.

I silently walked over to the bed, my finger tracing various scars on her arm having mercy on the fresh one and missing it by millimetres. The urge to pull out those 18 stitches one by one by my bare hands was just too strong but too risky for now.

My other hand ran through her hair and I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. My Emily. So, so fragile, so gentle, walking on a thin rope of sanity. How pathetic. My fingers travelled down her neck. A growl escaped my lips for not being able go wrap my fingers around her neck and crush it like a can again and again.

The desire to hurt her was dangerously coursing through my veins. The door opened and it luckily distracted me.

"Mommy?" She called for me me with her drowsy eyes and I smiled walking towards her.

"Yes baby?" I said and kneeling down next to her. My fingers ran through her hair and combed it back into place.

"Can I sleep with you two?" My hand rested on her shoulder, thumb grazing the soft skin of her neck as I made an action of thinking over her demand.

"Of course!" I beamed and tucked her in the bed between Emily and me.

 ***grins***


	26. Ross

"What are we even doing here Ross?" I said as I walked through heaps and heaps of junk.

"The one thing that I know will make you feel better." He said and continued walking.

He dropped the duffle bag from his hand and turned around to face me.

"This is what you need to do." He said and bent down to open the zipper. After a few sounds of objects clattering he finally stood up holding a gun in hand.

"What-what is this Ross?" I stuttered not knowing where this is going to go. My hand directly latched on to the healed scars and started feeling them; a habit I had picked up when I would sink into a panic mode.

He just smiled and walked over to me. Pulling my hand away from the scars he put the gun in it.

"Its yours. And today you're going to use it." He said and walked away from me.

I just looked down at the gun in my hand. My fingers smoothly wrapped around it on all the right places without a single thought. It was embedded into my muscle memory so well that it didn't even feel like they're my own hands. It felt like I'm watching a pair hands wrap around a gun.

"Emily!" Ross called out and within a split second I raised my arms and shot the bottle that was thrown directly towards my face.

It exploded into pieces right in front of me and my heart was beating out of my chest. The loud bang from the gun still ringing through my ears. I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing before-"Again!" I yelled and opened my eyes. Adrenaline coursed through me like lava and it consumed me within seconds.

Ross gave me an approving smile and shot another bottle through the air. The bottle spun in the air as it flew before being busted to pieces.

A smile crept up on my face and I looked back at Ross. He was already ready with two bottles in hand this time.

Two bullets smashed into the bottles mid-air and then a third one and then another.

He kept throwing bottles one after another and I kept shooting. I don't know when exactly but somewhere in the middle I screamed as I kept shooting at all the incoming bottles. One after another bang! Bang! Bang! My eyes trained on the bottle before it would burst and then searching for the next target and then bursting it off too.

Shards of glasses rained down as one of after another I kept shooting at the bottles. My eyes started to blur as the tears started to sting. All buried emotions and memories started to escape with each shot until I heard the final click of the empty slot and no bottle was thrown after that.

The gun slipped out of my hand and hit the ground with a thud before I sank down to it. Ross walked over and sat down next to me. I looked up at the setting sun and a calm surrounded me.

A bottle of beer was placed in front of me and I looked at Ross offering his for a cheers.

I never found Ross to be the beer guy but here he was sitting next to me on the ground of a junkyard offering me beer like there was nothing wrong in the world and what we just did was completely normal. Sometimes it amazed me how calm this man can be in the toughest of the situations.

I smiled and picked up the bottle; clinging it with his I took a small sip.

"Never thought of you as the beer guy."

"Cause I'm not. Its scotch." He replied and I just shook my head. Obviously.

 **Short and sweet I guess ;)**

 ***grins***


	27. Rachel

I put my book down and look up to see Emily standing in front of the mirror, analysing her body, looking at her scars. A smirk settles on my lips, she deserves this so much.

I look at her fingers gently brushing over all the scars that are now completely healed. I unconsciously bit my lip as heat grew between my legs. We haven't had sex in the last 7 months and no matter how much I hate her, a good fuck is a good fuck. The last time was two days before had gone missing and its been a long, long time now.

She gasps as I touch her arm but forces herself not flinch away.

"Shhh…" I whisper in her ear and place a gentle kiss on her shoulders, the gentlest possible so I don't scare her away.

I kiss on her pulse point and I can feel her gulp against my lips. I pride in the fact that I could still make her go weak though this might also be due to the kind of rough treatment she received for four months but I'd rather indulge in my pride than some logical reasoning.

My hand goes around her waist to the opposite side and turns her around. I can clearly see the nervousness and uncertainty in her eyes and I plaster my best "good trustworthy wife" face. My eyes soften as does my body.

I cup her cheeks and we look straight into each other's eyes.

"Trust me." I brushed my lips with hers in the most caring manner and run my hands up and down her arms.

"Rach… I… I don't know…"

"You don't have to do anything… don't worry. Let this be your night." Tonight I might have to stay unsatisfied but at least it'll open up the door for future possibilities.

"But still. If you really don't want to then we won't." I said looking at her sincerely.

She chewed on her lower lip trying to decide what to do. But I guess she has forgotten how bothered that makes me.

"Fuck it." She says and connects our lips. They move in perfect sync, just the way they have the past millions of times.

I trace her lower lip and slide in as she gives me access. Damn she definitely hasn't lost her kissing skills. Those pricks used to give her such sloppy kisses I was worried by the time I'd get my hands on her she lose all her expertise. I'm quite impressed actually; for someone who was so nervous at the beginning, she is doing a great job.

My palm gently squeezes her waist and pulls her closer while the other knots itself in her thick hair. Her breathing rises up a notch, it slows down but gets heavier at the same time.

We pull back once our lungs can't survive anymore and rest our forehead against the other's. Damn, that was good.

I smirked and held her hands, my thumb rubbing against her knuckles. We walked backwards towards the bed and I laid her down.

It was bothering me at how gentle and slow I had to be and also control the micro-est of my facial expressions to keep her under me.

Her hands rode up my back and pulled me down onto her. Our lips connected again as our fronts were flushed against each other's sending pleasure through my nerves.

Deepening the kiss, I slid my hand inside her tank top and felt her breathing hitch underneath me. I smirked and dared to go further up until I felt her erect rosy buds fit perfectly under my palm. Her breathing raced and back arched in approval as I gave them a soft squeeze.

"You're good?" I whispered in her ear and nibbled on her earlobe before sinking my teeth on her pulse point. The significant gulp was my green signal before I sat up on her waist. My fingers curled around her top and pulled it out.

I looked down at her body covered with various scars. The welts from the whips were so deep at some places that it left a good mark of it behind. I doubt they'll ever go away. Well at least I hope they don't.

I put on a "good wife" smile. My approval of her body covered in scars was showing off in the sweet smile.

Leaning down I captured her lips and jaw line before moving down to her neck and shoulders, placing a few nibbles everywhere.

I took one of her buds in my mouth while the other was teased by my hand. My tongue flicked over it and teeth sunk in the soft flesh just a bit before pulling away and switching on the buds.

Her deep moans, arch of back and constant tugs and my hair was a constant green signal.

As I distracted her with my tongue on bud, I left the other one to roam my hand further south. I ran my finger along her pyjama waistband testing the waters.

"Rach…." She moaned out and I looked up. Too much too fast?

"I want you." Her words made me grin and she tugged at my top.

"Whatever you wish." I bit my lip and pulled away my T-shirt and then shorts before settling back on her waist.

I sat there and looked down at her. My hands ran un her abdomen and to her breasts giving them a harder squeeze than before. She was ready for this. Finally.

Giving them a final squeeze, I leaned down and straddled her. Biting down on her lower lip, I rubbed our cores together.

"Rach… I really need you." She said as I let go of her lip.

"Patience." I whispered and started kissing my way down.

I reached her pyjama and started to pull it down placing kisses all over her exposing legs. I pulled them apart and settled between them.

"You look beautiful." -With all those memories of torture lining your mind and body. I completed in my mind.

Without wasting anymore time and being satisfied that she is not going to run away, I dove straight into her core.

My tongue worked its was from outside of her walls to her insides, knowing each contour like a well studied map, knowing the best spots to make her forget everything else and just be in the moment we shared.

This was a reminder of how much she trusts me and I bloated in the fact of how much I was breaking it everyday without her having even a single doubt about it.

My fingers entered her and her moans grew in volume. I could clear see that this was the first time in a long time she actually felt pleasure and the feeling of being high on sex. All of this trust, love and pleasure because of me. I laughed internally at how stupid she was.

My lips connected with her bundle of craving nerves and nibbled on them as my fingers pumped in and out of her at a faster pace and much deeper into her. She tugged on my hair hard and her walls clenched my fingers pulling them further in. Her moans turned into gibberish screams and somewhere between them I could hear her calling out my name as she came down hard. Harder than ever before. I felt proud at how I could still make her cum like that, how after all this while and all the people fucking her, I am the only one who could make her cum like that. She did cum over there a few times but that was only because of the public demand and her being too broken to fight back.

I rode her out completely and lapped away the leaking juices before climbing back over her. Our lips almost touching as I brought up my fingers and tasted her. Delicious.

I connected our lips and she deepened it, tasting herself on me. She moaned and pulled me closer. In a split second she hand me under her and her hands pinning down mine.

Her eyes were dark with lust as she looked down at me with love, lust and passion.

"Are you sure? You don't have to…" I tried being the oh so caring and loving wife but she just cut me off with a kiss. Finally. The core had now begun to throb in need and desire and I felt like if the make out session went long enough them I might just cum over that. But I also didn't know how to pressure her. I was too horny to scare her away right now.

"Patience." She whispered in my ear and nibbled on them. That was my move. Cheat. But it didn't make the situation down there any better, rather I was turned on even more.

"Em…" I whispered, my voice wavered, not something that I like. I didn't like to be under her control, to submit to her but it was part of the job. So I went along. Plus for now, things on this end go the way she wants to. Cause 1: i'm super turned on right now (not that I can't handle it myself its just more fun when someone else does all the work.)

And 2: she is pretty good at this and if I scare her away right now, I don't want to wait for another 3 months for her to open up to me. So I just went along with it and fisted my hand into her hair as my tongue ran over my clit, like a tester or probably she was teasing me. That bitch- moans and gasps escaped. Her slender fingers entered me as her teeth scarped on my bud. Fuck. I'm so not going to last for a long time.

I feel her stretching me as she pulls out and soon I feel a third one enter me. God this woman. My fist tightened in her hair as I started gasping and moaning out louder. My walls started to clench over her fingers as she reached further inside. I tried to hold on for as long as I could before I came down so hard with my back arching way above the bed and her name mixed with profanities left my mouth.

"That was amazing." I said as our lips brushed. Cannot lie about that now can I? The way I came down with even she knew how much I enjoyed that.

She fell down on the bed next to me exhausted and cuddled up in my side. I pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head.

At least some parts of this job didn't suck.

 **Thanks to Gypsy byrne and rmpcmfan for commenting over the last chapter. After 3-4 days of 0 reviews I had lost the motivation to write. So thank you so much to bring it back.**

 **I'm someone who needs a little push every now and then and all the reviews help me out so much. Its your reviews that give me new ideas and remind me about all the gaps that I need to fill in.**

 **Thanks for reading this, I hope you like it. Review please.**


	28. The morning after

My eyes opened to my beautiful wife lying next to me. The sunlight falling over her makes her look so much more beautiful. I smiled as I remembered our last night; our fast night after everything. Her lips on mine and every part of me felt so good. Her soft touch, the whispering, the light kisses to the rhythmic thrusts of her slender fingers. I almost moaned out to the memories. It has been three months since I have come back home and all she done is deal with me and my mood swings, nightmares and flip outs. She has done everything possible in her power to help me out and last night she gave me the best night of probably my entire life.

"What are you thinking?" I heard her whisper and my mind focused back on her. I took her hand in mine and brought it up to my lips. "About us; About last night; about everything that you have done for me in the last 3 months. It hasn't been easy on both of us and I don't know how to pay you back for everything that you went through because of me. All I know is that I love you too much to let you go. So please don't leave me and as a first step, I promise to start going to those counselling sessions you've been asking me to go for. Lastly, I'm sorry for all the bad things I have said and done in these past few months. You and Hailey are the only reason why I could live through all that torture. I know I gave up by the end of it, I tried to take my own life. But I felt like I had lost all hope, like I had no energy, no fight left in me. But if not for you guys, I wouldn't have survived even those 4 months—" She cut me off with a gentle kiss to my lips. My hand rose to her face and around the back of her neck pulling her closer in order to taste more of her. She obliged immediately and I slipped in with ease. We smiled into it and she pulled me closer to her and soon I was under her. Our lips never left, her hands pinned down mine. We pulled back and looked into each other's eyes.

"I love you." Those three words were enough to shoot my heart beat up. I didn't need anything more than this truth, this reality where I have her and Hailey in my life. I was smitten in love with her and I would proudly admit it.

I wrapped my legs around her waist and thighs and pulled her down. Our naked bodies flushing against each other's, a smirk of lust and desire playing on both our lips. I turned us over in a swift flip and started kissing down her neck.

—.—.—.—

I closed the bedroom silently after completing 3 rounds of some very interesting sexual activities. Last night did pay me off pretty well. And I bet I deserve a payback for all her tantrums for the past 3 months. I didn't know her recovery would be so heavy on me.

I walked up to Hailey's room at the end of the hallway. After all this time, being Rachel was in my nature. At first it was a bit of a challenge but now its like she is a part of me. Its not easy after all to act like under someone else's skin in front of a bunch of profilers and so before I joined the lives of the team and especially my precious Emily, I played Rachel for two years. I let myself sink into her skin, her daily routine, her personality. I gave Rachel a past of sexual abuse to explain any further episodes of nightmares and also the scars that had been left behind on various spots over my body. And that's how Rachel was born. A kick boxing trainer with a past of sexual abuse and a street kid who didn't have money for education so no paper work was required. Her parents were drug abusers and died in the process, with no left she escaped out onto the streets. Once satisfied enough with the character build up, I entered into her life and occupied each inch of it slowly and steadily. I knew I had to stop being myself, stop hating Emily so much cause only then I could pull this off. I did everything possible to make my plan work. I planned the tiniest of details and made sure to not leave a single loop hole. And thus here I am now. Rachel Prentiss.

I turned the door knob and found Hailey still sleeping on her bed. I sucked in a deep breath and sunk back under Rachel's skin.

"Come on, wake up." I softly whispered in her ear.

 **So this is kind of a filler, kind of an insight into Rachel.**

 **And I forgot to tell you guys about this in the last chapter, I'm currently working on a free lance job so I am trying my best to upload new chapters as fast as possible, so sorry for the long wait. And also that this story isn't pre-planned and I'm planning it as I go further ahead. So that'll also slow down the uploading process.**

 **Gypsy Byrne: thanks for all the motivation, I won't give up on the story**

 **Kensi JJ: I tried to upload a happy chapter of the team but I couldn't think of what I should write. But I promise to try my best to give you a happy team chapter before the story ends**

 **Hope you liked the little back story of Rachel, let me know what you think and any questions if you have**


	29. Square 1

On some days I can't stop thinking when will be the time when she'll be back, when she'll decide that I had enough of time outside and will come and put me in that hole again. Mentally I was still stuck there. This freedom is just a physical one where I get to see my family, my team, the sunrise and the sunset, where all my senses are stimulated with this outside world. But when I'm alone, all I can think of is when all of this is going to end. Or is she even going to come back? What if she wants me to suffer in her fear for all my life? Watch me as I go crazy day by day until the end.

But all those questions are for those some days. Today is different than those days cause today I am back in this hole with bigger questions to be answered. The question about Rachel and Hailey's safety. Today that is the only question on my mind, the only fear that is coursing through my whole being. I knew I had the strength to go through this again for them but wouldn't be able to bear it if something happened to them. Today I'm not thinking about who that bitch is or what she wants from me or whatever mistake I fucking made. Rachel and Hailey are the only two people on my mind and I have to survive this time for them.

Darkness was all around me again. My wrists, ankles and neck chained down like an animal and silence filled the air.

 **So I decided to finally take the story ahead since I couldn't stall this any further.**

 **Sorry for the length after such a long wait.**

 **Review please! :D**


	30. Miss me?

The ringing bell snapped my eyes open and I frantically looked around. I could see Hailey's school and kids pouring out of it but my mind still couldn't shake itself out of the nightmare I just had. The feeling of being back in that dark hole was way too frightening and just as my body and mind started to calm down, another fear that I faced during the dream seeped in.

I got out of my car and went towards the crowd of kids pouring out of the school to pick Hailey up myself rather than waiting for her in the car.

Looking around I couldn't find Hailey yet. Probably she hasn't come out yet – my rational mind said; but she comes out by this time – my paranoid mind said and it won. I started running around like a maniac going from one direction to another. I ran into the school and spotted her teacher.

"Miss. Kenny!" I called her out and went over to her.

"Mrs. Prentiss. Are you okay?" she asked concerned as she looked at me with concern.

"Where is Hailey?" I asked her and she just knotted her brow. "I let her class go 10 minutes ago." She said and my heart started to race. No. No. No. No. My fears started to build up to a level I didn't know how to control. I ran back outside and around the school, to the playground, the swimming area and back to the entrance and then my car. She was not there. I couldn't find her. She was gone. She was taken away. No! No! No! Stay calm! You'll find her. I was right here! How could she…

"Mumma!" I heard her voice and immediately turned around. She was standing there with a lollipop in her mouth and looking up at me with such innocence in her eyes. God I hope that bitch never touches and destroys this innocence and my Hailey. I kneeled down in front of her and took her in my arms holding her tight.

Her arms wrapped around me, "Are you okay mumma? The bad guys scared you again in your dreams?" she asked and I just pulled back kissing her forehead.

"Where were you? I got scared." I said deciding to avoid her question.

"I was in the chocolate shop near the backside of the school, helping a blind woman cross the road." She said and I relaxed.

"That's really nice of you Hailey but you're just 8. People should be helping you, not the other way around." Sometimes I couldn't believe how matured she was for her age.

I hugged her back in a much calmer state of mind and that's when I sensed something else. A fragrance and not just any fragrance, a perfume; a very specific perfume. My phone buzzed from a call and in my daze of confusion and fear I pressed it against my ear.

"Hello." The word came out of habit but my mind was on a different path.

"Miss me?" I hear that soft voice on the other line and get to my feet. My heart beating way too hard and fast, I couldn't breath, I felt suffocated and the world around me started to spin. Hailey cried out for me multiple times but even that wasn't enough to pull me out of this. Without answering back I just pulled the phone away and threw it at the near by wall.

Pulling Hailey up and into my arms I took her towards the car. My hand and whole body shaking in a violent shiver.

"Go to the other side!" I yelled at her and she obeyed. Once successfully opening the car and sure that she was seated next to me with her seat belt on, I got the car into ignition and rode off.

I knew I'm in no condition to drive the car by myself but I couldn't trust Hailey's safety in someone else's hand. I kept driving with the best concentration that I could pull off.

Hailey asked me to slow down and stop multiple times but I had no time to listen. The scent of that perfume coming from Hailey started to fill up my senses and added onto the pressure that I already felt. My breathing came out to be even more ragged and I wanted to strangle myself so that I wouldn't have to spend one more second with it.

The swerved to a stop in front of our house and pulling Hailey out of it, we ran towards the house and locked ourselves in. I put on the multiple locks that I added in after coming back to feel more secured.

I slid down the door and Hailey pulled me in her arms. I cried onto her like a child and held her so close to me. The scent on her being a constant reminder of how I almost lost her today. My whole body pained thinking about Hailey being her thumb, about how she could hurt her. She's just a child. Just a child.

I pulled away and looked up at her smiling face.

"Can you go and have a shower please?" I asked her and she just nodded walking away from me. I stood up instantly and went over to all the windows in the house and made sure they were locked and the curtains were closed. I felt like turning my wooden walls into thick walls of steel and metal that no one can surpass. This didn't feel safe but it was as safe as it could get.

Walking over to my house phone, I dialled Rachel's number. After two rings the call was picked up and after a second's silence, "Hey Em!" the soft voice of the bitch answered instead of the deep voice of my wife.

Review pweesh! I hopes you like it.

The ringing bell snapped my eyes open and I frantically looked around. I could see Hailey's school and kids pouring out of it but my mind still couldn't shake itself out of the nightmare I just had. The feeling of being back in that dark hole was way too frightening and just as my body and mind started to calm down, another fear that I faced during the dream seeped in.

I got out of my car and went towards the crowd of kids pouring out of the school to pick Hailey up myself rather than waiting for her in the car.

Looking around I couldn't find Hailey yet. Probably she hasn't come out yet – my rational mind said; but she comes out by this time – my paranoid mind said and it won. I started running around like a maniac going from one direction to another. I ran into the school and spotted her teacher.

"Miss. Kenny!" I called her out and went over to her.

"Mrs. Prentiss. Are you okay?" she asked concerned as she looked at me with concern.

"Where is Hailey?" I asked her and she just knotted her brow. "I let her class go 10 minutes ago." She said and my heart started to race. No. No. No. No. My fears started to build up to a level I didn't know how to control. I ran back outside and around the school, to the playground, the swimming area and back to the entrance and then my car. She was not there. I couldn't find her. She was gone. She was taken away. No! No! No! Stay calm! You'll find her. I was right here! How could she…

"Mumma!" I heard her voice and immediately turned around. She was standing there with a lollipop in her mouth and looking up at me with such innocence in her eyes. God I hope that bitch never touches and destroys this innocence and my Hailey. I kneeled down in front of her and took her in my arms holding her tight.

Her arms wrapped around me, "Are you okay mumma? The bad guys scared you again in your dreams?" she asked and I just pulled back kissing her forehead.

"Where were you? I got scared." I said deciding to avoid her question.

"I was in the chocolate shop near the backside of the school, helping a blind woman cross the road." She said and I relaxed.

"That's really nice of you Hailey but you're just 8. People should be helping you, not the other way around." Sometimes I couldn't believe how matured she was for her age.

I hugged her back in a much calmer state of mind and that's when I sensed something else. A fragrance and not just any fragrance, a perfume; a very specific perfume. My phone buzzed from a call and in my daze of confusion and fear I pressed it against my ear.

"Hello." The word came out of habit but my mind was on a different path.

"Miss me?" I hear that soft voice on the other line and get to my feet. My heart beating way too hard and fast, I couldn't breath, I felt suffocated and the world around me started to spin. Hailey cried out for me multiple times but even that wasn't enough to pull me out of this. Without answering back I just pulled the phone away and threw it at the near by wall.

Pulling Hailey up and into my arms I took her towards the car. My hand and whole body shaking in a violent shiver.

"Go to the other side!" I yelled at her and she obeyed. Once successfully opening the car and sure that she was seated next to me with her seat belt on, I got the car into ignition and rode off.

I knew I'm in no condition to drive the car by myself but I couldn't trust Hailey's safety in someone else's hand. I kept driving with the best concentration that I could pull off.

Hailey asked me to slow down and stop multiple times but I had no time to listen. The scent of that perfume coming from Hailey started to fill up my senses and added onto the pressure that I already felt. My breathing came out to be even more ragged and I wanted to strangle myself so that I wouldn't have to spend one more second with it.

The swerved to a stop in front of our house and pulling Hailey out of it, we ran towards the house and locked ourselves in. I put on the multiple locks that I added in after coming back to feel more secured.

I slid down the door and Hailey pulled me in her arms. I cried onto her like a child and held her so close to me. The scent on her being a constant reminder of how I almost lost her today. My whole body pained thinking about Hailey being her thumb, about how she could hurt her. She's just a child. Just a child.

I pulled away and looked up at her smiling face.

"Can you go and have a shower please?" I asked her and she just nodded walking away from me. I stood up instantly and went over to all the windows in the house and made sure they were locked and the curtains were closed. I felt like turning my wooden walls into thick walls of steel and metal that no one can surpass. This didn't feel safe but it was as safe as it could get.

Walking over to my house phone, I dialled Rachel's number. After two rings the call was picked up and after a second's silence, "Hey Em!" the soft voice of the bitch answered instead of the deep voice of my wife.

 **Review pweesh! I hopes you like it.**


	31. Announcement

Hey guys! firstly, I am so sorry for not updating the story. It started off as unplanned and I didn't know how to connect the the dots. Hence, I ended up losing my muse for the same.

Since the past few days I have been reading and re-reading the story to come up with a back story and I finally have. I don't know how many more chapters would it have but I surely have connected all the dots. I'm sorry to have discontinued the story, I understand very well how that feels. By the end of this week, i'll start updating the story. I just wanted to put this one out before i would update so that you if you guys want to read previous chapters and stuff then you can :) I promise to finish the story this time.

So, if any of my previous readers would like to continue but have forgotten what happened in the past chapters; I'll be typing down the summary of the past 30 chapters here. For all the new readers, you can go ahead and either read the summary or read all the chapters. Also for you guys, a warning that the story will contain graphic scenes of rape, torture and self harm. I am not a victim of rape and torture so I would never be able to give justice to it (nor do I know anyone personally who has been through it) But I'm trying to keep the sense of trauma real. Hopefully it'll give as much justice to it as possible.

To make up the past story, I have made changes to Emily's real life as shown on the show. She'll be having a difference past which will lead her to meet Arizona. so Yeah, just a heads up with that.

So from here the summary will start. New readers- obviously there'll be SPOILERS from down here. so yeah.. look away!

SUMMARY:

Emily wakes up in a dark place where she will be kept for 126 days (just as the title suggests). She is being tortured by a woman. By now all we know about her is that her name is Arizona, she was sold off at age 8. Her virginity was lost by 50 men raping and also torturing her with various devices. She also was forced into killing someone, stabbing a knife into that someone's back while she held her in her arms. That's what we know about her past. About her physical self, she has a soft voice, wears some expensive perfume and heels. She has taken Emily to take revenge for something that is hidden in their common past.

For the 126 days she kept her in a dark room, chained up inhumanely by her ankles, wrists and neck. Every time she is taken to the "playroom" she is blindfolded and thus for 126 days she sees no light at all. The only thing she gets to see is in black and green with the night vision glass she steals from a guard while trying to escape but obviously failing.

So while she is being held captive; the life of the team doesn't stay uneventful. First, JJ gets images of Emily hanging naked and low from the ceiling, with multiple wounds of whips, cut lip and especially various hand prints suggesting the obvious. Then Garcia gets attacked. Some guy sent in by Arizona attacks her, records her screaming and calling out Emily's name. He stabs her on the shoulder and in the abdomen and dumps her outside JJ's place. Somehow she survives. But this was a part of the mind game that Arizona is about to play on Emily. She plays the recording in her cell over and over again for about a week and later tells her that Garcia has died.

Skip ahead to when 126 days are over. Its Hailey's birthday, she is missing her mum. JJ asks her to wish for Emily while blowing the candle and she might have her back. and Voila! so she did. after the cake cutting, the door bell rings. Hailey opens the door with JJ right behind her to find the huge box with lots of hole in it and in it; they find our precious Emily; naked, for everyone's eyes. For everyone to see her scars. Also as another tactic to humiliate her.

Over the next three months, we found out that Rachel her wife is not on the good side, she rather hates Emily with all her guts. While Emily has no idea about this obviously. During this time, she falls back into self harm, also tries to kill herself once. But she doesn't succeed. She keeps going back into the past, nightmares are a constant. She is managing through her life until one night when she receives an email with an attachment. In it there's a video of her cutting herself with a piece of glass and that's when she tries to kill herself cause she isn't being able to handle the sight of her being so weak.

In the last chapter; 30th: She is out to pick up Hailey from her school. But ends up having a flash back while she is waiting in the car for her and also is unable to find Hailey after the school bell rings and all the kids are out. Eventually she finds her and comes to know she was helping an old lady cross the road. but when she hugs her, she smells the same perfume again which Arizona always wore. Thus she panics and quickly takes Hailey back home and asks her to have a shower. She calls up Rachel but instead of her deep raspy voice she hears Arizona's soft voice.

So that is where it ends by now. I hope you guys will continue and that there will be new readers. but yeah.. if any of you are going to continue, don't forget to review :) it helps a ton. Also if you have any suggestions or anything you'd like to read let me know ;) making a new start anyway, so throw your ideas, suggestions and questions at me. It can help.


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